Ben Hauck online

★Ben Hauck

ACTOR PROFILE

Ben Hauck has worked in numerous stage and screen productions including The Baster (2010), The Accidental Husband, Law & Order, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Law & Order: Trial by Jury, Yahoo! Webcasts, Ding Dang!, and Ding Dang in Space! He has performed at The Barrow Group, The Actors' Playhouse, the New York International Fringe Festival, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Columbia University, and at a broad range of community and variety venues. As an improviser, he has performed both in the United States and in England with improv teams and as his alterego The Reverend Raymond Nader, an evangelist who performs comic improvised sermons. Ben is a member of the Screen Actors Guild, the American Federation of Television & Radio Artists, and the Actors' Equity Association, and has over 20 years of performance experience.

Click on a heading below to view video of my many different performances.

COMIC IMPROVISED SERMONS

★	"Republican National Convention" @ The Barrow Group (6/16/09)

The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) performs a completely improvised sermon based on the audience suggestion of "Republican National Convention" at The Barrow Group's monthly variety show called "Blue Plate Special."

That's hosts Bethel Caram and Neil Potter introducing The Reverend.

(The video is a little jerky in the beginning but I promise it calms down. And the lighting is very bright, but I think it lends holy effect!)

Launch the video! (11:25) »

★	"Heroin" @ Otterbein College (5/29/09)

The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) performs a completely improvised sermon based on the audience suggestion of "heroin" for a Common Hour on long-form improv at Otterbein College in Westerville, OH.

That's Otterbein Director Dennis Romer introducing The Reverend as faux substitute speaker for Ben.

(Apologies for the angle of the video. I had to do it from there because I couldn't get in time to set up the camera without revealing my suit!)

Launch the video! (11:02) »

★	"Lust" @ The New Dixon Place (2/14/09)

The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) introduces a looping pedal while doing a completely improvised sermon based on the audience suggestion of "lust" on Valentine's Day at Dixon Place in the variety show Crones, Ducks & Babes. That's Victoria "Howling Vic" Libertore as Liza introducing The Reverend.

Launch the video! (11:48) »

★	"Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder" @ Dixon Place (11/1/07)

The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) does a completely improvised sermon based on the audience suggestion of "obsessive-compulsive disorder" at Dixon Place in the variety show Crones, Ducks & Babes. That's Victoria "Howling Vic" Libertore as Liza introducing The Reverend.

Launch the video! (14:22) »

★	"Chaps" from Ding Dang in Space! (c.4/20/07)

Another performance of The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) doing a completely improvised, audience-inspired sermon in the musical comedy show Ding Dang in Space!. That's Amy Soucy interacting with The Reverend in the beginning.

Launch the video! (6:30) »

★	"Yea/Eating Meat" from Ding Dang in Space! (4/20/07)

The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) does a completely improvised sermon based on the audience suggestions of "yea" and "eating meat" at Dixon Place in the variety show Crones, Ducks & Babes. That's Victoria "Howling Vic" Libertore as Liza introducing The Reverend.

Launch the video! (11:16) »

★	"Envy" from Ding Dang! (11/18/06)

The debut performance of The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) doing a completely improvised, audience-inspired sermon in the musical sketch comedy show Ding Dang!. That's Casey Weaver introducing The Reverend in the beginning.

Launch the video! (7:26) »

★	"E!TV" @ Dixon Place (10/4/07)

The Reverend Raymond Nader (aka Ben Hauck) does a completely improvised sermon based on the audience suggestion of "E!TV" at Dixon Place in the variety show Crones, Ducks & Babes. That's Victoria "Howling Vic" Libertore as Liza introducing The Reverend.

Launch the video! (14:42) »

★	"Pancake Jesus" @ The Cockpit Theatre (7/6/08)

Flanked by Charlotte Gittins and Lisa Robinson as Team America, Ben Hauck takes on the challenge to do "the best scene in a church" during the Theatresports^TM International Comedy Improv Competition at the Cockpit Theatre in London, England. The suggestion from the audience was "pancakes."

Launch the video! (2:55) »

YAHOO! WEBCASTS

★	Diet Dr. Pepper "Love at First Sip" Presented by Yahoo! (2/09)

In February 2009, I played host in NYC, Philadelphia, and Chicago for Diet Dr. Pepper's speed-dating event titled "Love at First Sip." Yahoo! presented the event, and this was the second Valentine's Day event I hosted for the pairing of Yahoo! and Diet Dr. Pepper. (See the Valentine's in Vegas entry below for video from my first event with the pairing!)

Fun videos of the events are available online and I aim to host them on my website soon.

See the 6 videos »

★	Valentines in Vegas with Yahoo! & Dr. Pepper (2/08)

This was an awesome event held in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day, 2008. Yahoo! & Dr. Pepper set up three different wedding theme rooms and for 24 hours straight, we did a live webcast broadcasting the weddings with color commentary.

I was a co-host for the webcast along with four notable comedians (Dave Hill, my old improv teacher Billy Merrit, Lisa Arch, and Pauly Shore) and Mario Lopez, who made a guest appearance at the event. Tay Zonday, famous for his song "Chocolate Rain," was there as well, and I got to interview him (though we can't seem to locate the interview in the footage). The day before, I did some man on the street interviews with passers-by.

Below are two videos. The first is my man on the street interview reel. The second is Pauly Shore's highlight reel; Pauly and I had a lot of interaction and even did some improv together!

Watch the man on the street interviews! (5:14) »

Watch the Pauly Shore highlight reel featuring Ben Hauck! (1:55) »

★	Yahoo! Answers World's Biggest Brain Unveiling @ Times Square (6/06)

In June 2006, I served as host of the live webcast for the Yahoo! Answers World's Biggest Brain event. We were perched underneath an enormous purple brain on top of the marquee for the Hard Rock Café in Times Square.

This monologue kicks off the event. I had a little time to memorize what I wanted to say, but it was live, on the fly, and I was running on adrenelin. I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. I hope you like it.

Launch the video! (2:12) »

★	Yahoo!'s World's La-Z-iest Shopper @ Rockefeller Center (4/00-5/00)

From April 10th through May 12th, 2000, I, along with fellow New York actor Darryl Hudak, played "The World's La-Z-iest Shopper" in a promotion for Yahoo! Shopping in Rockefeller Center, an acting gig that got me my Actors' Equity card and started my side-career as New York City's top guerilla marketer.

This character, who lived in his Yahoo! "Playhouse" on 50th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues in Manhattan, had many gadgets in his home which made his life all the simpler. Hence, he was called "lazy." But how I played him, he was quite the opposite.

His love for gadgets came from his desire to make his life easier, to make way for the things he really enjoyed doing in his life. Especially, he liked to shop, and have fun shopping, but he didn't like having to spend all that time getting to the store, looking around, getting in line, and carrying around his purchases. Yahoo! Shopping, with over 10,000 stores accessible from his home computer, was the goldmine of a find, and he wanted to share his shopping secret with other people who visited his playhouse, to make their lives a lot easier and more fun, too.

The five weeks there were filled with free giveaways and an estimated 3,000 visitors between Darryl and myself. I figure I'd shaken hands with and learned the names of nearly 1,800 people, from all sorts of exciting countries--Serbia, Argentina, Germany, England, Mexico, Australia, Japan, Canada, China, Ireland, Italy, Brazil, Portugal, Switzerland, France, Israel, and probably some others I'm forgetting. Plus, there were plenty of tourists from all over the United States, and many of the New Yorkers who worked around Rockefeller Center paid occasional visits to my curious abode.

When a person would enter, I would introduce myself rather jubilantly as "The World's La-Z-iest Shopper." Sometimes people wanted a real name. I would then tell them "Willis," from the abbreviation of World's La-Z-iest Shopper: W.L.S.

I would then have them sit in my internet-ready purple La-Z-Boy chair and offer them a drink from the cooler hidden in its arm. There was a laptop attached to the chair which was neat, and there was a heated massage too. For added reclining entertainment, I'd turn on Yodel, my Sony AIBO robot dog who could do tricks including the Yahoo! Yodel! (One week, Yodel liked to lift his leg and pee a lot.)

In the backyard of my home were picnic tables with laptops, plus goodies to hand out. There, I'd show them all the ease and benefits of shopping online. There was nothing to buy and nothing to sell, and people walked away with free things, so there was a lot of fun to be had. So many people left with huge smiles on their faces.

It was a lot of work and a lot of fun, with a nice amount of perks. Included was publicity, which included appearances on ZDTV's Internet Tonight and the FOX News Channel's FOX and Friends, as well as articles by BusinessWeek and Time Digital. Also, I got to meet a lot of hip up-and-coming and well-established dotcom retailers with stores on Yahoo! Shopping; there was a different featured retailer on Yahoo! Shopping at my playhouse each day, with different cool free giveaways for people who showed up.

Then in September 2000, The World's La-Z-iest Shopper ventured to California for two consecutive weekends, first at Macy*s in San Francisco and then at Macy*s in Beverly Hills. Dubbed "Lazy Shopper Lite," Willis had his trademark La-Z-boy chairs inside Macy*s to help illustrate for people the comfort and ease with which one could shop online from Yahoo! Shopping.

Watch Ben Hauck on "FOX & Friends"! (FOX News) (:56) »

Watch Ben Hauck on "Internet Tonight"! (ZDTV) (2:50) »

View the WLS website »

FILM WORK

★	Scene from The Push Directed by Sherone Rabinovitz (2004)

This is a short, tense exchange in the beginning of the film between my character (Davíd) and Ben Bauman's character (John). For more information on the film, visit http://www.thepushmovie.com and its IMDb page.

Launch the video! (1:09) »

★	"Stand Out" A Recruitment Video for NYIT (2006)

I play the lead role of Tim Fletcher, the well-prepared New York Institute of Technology graduate on a job interview in this fun recruitment industrial.

Launch the video! (8:18) »

★	Scene from Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns Directed by AJ Schnack (2002)

I am, or at least was, a very big fan of the quirky rock band They Might Be Giants. The documentary being shot around the band came to town, and not only did I get to see the show being shot for the documentary, but also before it I got to share something on camera about the band. (Apparently they didn't care that I had a sunburn on my face.

My fanatical, serious, somewhat spooky story didn't make the film, but it ended up as an outtake on the film. I was pretty nervous sharing my story; I mildly choked while talking.

Also in the outtakes is Charlie Todd, leader of Improv Everywhere. He's not as spooky as I am, but clearly fanatical as well--you'll have to get the DVD to see, though.

Launch the video! (:12) »

★	Scene from Garden State Directed by Zach Braff (2003)

The following is a deleted scene from Garden State that is on the DVD for the film. Titled "Audition," I'm in it as a sleeping actor. Zach gave me special direction to lie like that--he got a kick out of it when he saw it after the takes.

What you can't really make out because of glare is that I'm holding a headshot of myself--my old, smiley commercial headshot. Zach was loving the contrast of my energy in the shot and my being completely asleep in the audition waiting room.

Launch the video! (:35) »

★	Scene from Filters Directed by John Fiorelli (2003-2004)

I had thought that this project was a trailer for a proposed larger project, but it seems that it's become a short by itself.

In it, I play George, the cousin of the lead. This scene is from the beginning of the film.

Launch the video! (:56) »

★	Tech Prep Produced by DRM Productions (1998)

Tech Prep was a big break for me at the time. For an hour and a half worth of work as the on-camera spokesperson for a North Central Ohio high-school program called Tech Prep, I got paid $75. I was a senior in high school at the time, and it felt great to be doing paid acting work that was also being filmed. I memorized long paragraphs of copy remarkably quickly, and then just shot.

Some things you'll note are that my nose is red from a time when I had a large pimply healing right there. Also, I have a thick, thick main of hair. I'm really happy with my work on this industrial, which was shot in Mansfield, OH, at the production studio where the local news channel was also housed.

Launch the video! (5:32) »

TELEVISION WORK

★	Law & Order "Surrender Dorothy" (2000)

It was a day after finishing some fill-in casting assistant work for Julie Tucker, then the casting director for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, that I got a call from the office, this time from Law & Order casting:

"We'd like to call you in for an audition . . ."

Suzanne Ryan, casting director for Law & Order who worked in the same office as Julie Tucker (the office is Lynn Kressel Casting), had a role come in of a Columbia University student who's readying for a ski trip when he discovers with his girlfriend a dead body in the trunk of a car. It would be in the teaser of the episode--the first minute or so--one called "Surrender Dorothy."

The audition was kinda funny. There they were, producers and director along with Suzanne for the audition, and I walked in and sat in the chair there to do my scene. I did it, then they had me stand and do it. I had to act like I was finding a dead body--funny to do, but serious acting stuff. The whole audition must have taken under two minutes. Camden Jill Carter, an intern who worked at the office who also landed an audition as the girlfriend in the same scene, had an even faster audition--it seemed like thirty seconds.

After a few days' wait, both Cami and I landed the roles in the teaser.

The episode aired Wednesday, April 26th, 2000. The scene, which went through looping (a process by which the actors redub or dub in new lines), proved more verbose than when we taped it; both Cami's and my lines doubled from two to four.

The scene was so fast. The screen time was about 10 seconds, contributing a small amount to my Fifteen Minutes of Fame. If you blinked, you'd miss the scene, but regardless, Cami and I were on the TV, doing the scene, being viewed by millions of people.

The role made me eligible for the Screen Actors Guild, which I eventually joined. And I'll get residuals for every time the episode is aired, and what with the popularity and the long run of the show, I'm very happy.

Launch the video! (:35) »

Episode #224, "Surrender Dorothy"
First aired on NBC: 4/26/2000

To see if the episode is on TV this week:
Click to check TNT's listings & get an email reminder

★	Law & Order: Trial by Jury "Bang & Blame" (2006)

This gig was nice. It was at Kaufman Astoria Studios, which is just across the street from where I live. I was to play one of the main characters of this episode, only I show up just in photos. I play Joey Soin, a young high-school football player who on his 18th birthday got in a drunk-driving accident and became comatose.

The photos I took show up in two different scenes. In the first, I'm established, looking pretty dour. In the second scene, it's much more dramatic, with my father on the stand and desperately showing the jury the images of me before the accident and after.

This the second time I've played some kind of comatose guy in a Law & Order-series episode. For my first time, take a look at my role in Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, the episode "Dominance."

Launch the video! (:58) »

★	Law & Order: Special Victims Unit "Dominance" (2003)

Sylvia Fay Casting called me one day in January saying the director of a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episode had cast me from my headshot to play a victim in an episode. I thought, Cool!

I was to play the role of Paul Dumont in an episode called "Dominance," and all they really told me was that I die in the episode.

The shoot date started off weirdly. That morning, the space shuttle Columbia exploded over Texas. While I was pretty glued to the radio for much of the morning, no one was really talking about the accident when I arrived on the set in New Jersey. It seemed like business as usual.

The classification of my role was Featured Extra. A lot of the time, a featured extra just means you're a non-speaking role you can pick out of a crowd, more so than just someone passing by. The pay is just $18 more than if I worked regular background, but this experience was much more exciting.

Among the perks was getting to see the director about what I'm supposed to look like, and getting made up to look battered pretty badly. Steve Shill, the director for this episode, and the makeup person debated whether I should have a shaved head since my character had brain surgery--I was to wear a bandage over my head, but they weren't sure if it was authentic to have my sideburns sticking out underneath the bandage.

Once that was resolved in my favor, the makeup people paled my face and added bruises to my left cheek and eye. The bruises were pretty nasty, so horrific that SVU-star Mariska Hargitay gasped when I passed her in the hall.

In my scene, I was lying in a coma with a respirator in my mouth. Ice-T, another star on the show, surprised me by coming up to me in my hospital bed to tell me how bad I looked, then insisted to the crew that I needed some "chronic" hooked up to the machine.

I was essentially in the background during the scene as the detectives talked to a neurosurgeon about my grave condition. I actually was more visible, I later found out, by the photographs I took looking normal for the episode.

Once all the makeup was off, a photographer snapped some stills of me around the offices of SVU, for use as a prop in another scene. One still ended up on a bulletin board in a following scene, and was pretty visible throughout. I believe in that scene the detectives get word that Paul "Buzzy" Dumont died of his injuries. (Spoiler!)

It was quite a fun day because of the little extra-special treatment I got and because I got to be around the stars. B.D. Wong was with me in the dressing room (I had no idea who he was until days later), and Mariska Hargitay was showing off some sexy photos her mother had sent her of Mariska with a young, sexy J.Lo look. Mariska was joking about how she now looks more lesbian chic than saucy sexpot.

The episode aired on April 4th, 2003. I didn't get to watch it because I was at a play at the time. When I walked out of the theater, I called my mother and she said, "You're on right now!!" Then she said, "You're still on!!" Then, "You're still on!!" Then, "You're not on anym--You're on again!!" I think I got about 30 seconds of screen time in total, which is more than what my Law & Order principal work got me--and I got screen credit for that!

Launch the video! (1:15) »

Episode E3123, "Dominance"
First aired on NBC: 4/4/2003

To see if the episode is on TV this week:
Click to check USA's listings

STUDENT FILM WORK

★	The Disenfranchised Directed by Joshua Hume (2002)

In Joshua Hume's NYU grad film, I play Saul, a man with a deep hatred for fast-food franchises. Donning superherolike regalia, he takes on fast-food franchise iconography before realizing just how powerful it can be.

The director also put out a director's cut, which excludes sound but includes some great material of my doing martial arts!

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★	The 91st Hour Directed by Brett Levner (2003)

This was a great film to work on. This was a Columbia grad film for a director who eventually went on to win the 2004 Coca-Cola Refreshing Filmmaker's Award. It featured great actors, dedicated rehearsal time so that we could develop our characters, and a meaty script.

I play Jackson, a junior associate lawyer. I'm pretty happy with my work in this film, though to me it's apparent that I have no idea how to drink alcohol.

Launch the video! (11:35) »

★	Children at Play Directed by Brian Olsen (2001)

Children at Play is a no-dialogue piece about Reginald (whom I play), a xenophobic businessman late for work, who runs into Archibald, his slightly psychotic neighbor.

Archibald tries to convince Reginald to attend his cool party that night. Reginald doesn't want to go, but when he gets home after a tiring day at work, the party comes to him, driving him to the point of nervous breakdown.

Launch the video! (8:18) »

★	Scene from The Blind Date Directed by Louise Lovegrove (2003)

Directed by Louise Lovegrove, her New York Film Academy film The Blind Date tells the story of a woman whose dream man exists only in her mind. She endures several passing relationships that don't go past a first date.

One of those dates is with Dancing Man, whom I play. In this short, you'll see that I have to get a little bit naked for the role.

Launch the video! (:32) »

FIND ME IN THESE FILMS!

★	Scene from Loverboy (2007)

In Loverboy, I play a college kid listening in on what Kyra Sedgwick is doing to a buddy. It was a fun little scene and night, and I got to meet Kevin Bacon, the director.

I'm in the camouflage cap (I so don't remember that), and on my left is Steve Buck, an improviser with whom I also worked on Perfect Stranger.

Launch the video! (:14) »

★	Scene from Kate & Leopold (2001)

I had an amazing time shooting this film. I got to use my bike in it, though some of the shots involving my bike were not used. What they did use was a part when I was standing atop a bridge, looking down as Hugh Jackman's character scares a purse snatcher into giving back Meg Ryan's stolen purse.

You can hear my voice cheering and my hands clapping. I'm the guy with the bike helmet on.

Launch the video! (:25) »

★	Scenes from Perfect Stranger (2007)

I worked three weeks on this film, and I was able to locate three uses of me in it. Actually, I was barely used during shooting, but it was a good time and I made some great friends.

In the first clip, you'll see my back to the camera with someone's arm behind me. You best not blink. Just after that clip, I walk behind Halle Berry in another clip, carrying some strappy thing. In the final clip, I'm one of the H2A employees wearing Reebok garb. I'm in the left row, farthest back--my head is about center screen. You can't really see me in this video, but I was pretty clear on the film screen. (We got to keep the clothes and some new fangled shoes, but I've since given them up--too big!)

Launch the video! (:20) »

★	Scene from Sex & The City (2001)

Toward the end of this scene from the season premiere of the fourth season titled "The Agony and the Ex-tacy," I play a waiter. You can't tell without my pointing it out: I'm the waiter who passes by just after Kristin Davis says "No, he's not here."

Launch the video! (:09) »

★	Scene from Far from Heaven (2002)

Behind Dennis Quaid at the popcorn maker is I leaning in watching a film. I had thought I'd show up more in this scene given how it had been shot, but this was it!

Launch the video! (:08) »

★	Scene from Men in Black II (2002)

In this film, I got to play what Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones played, which felt like a real privilege.

While you can't pick me out, let me just confirm that I'm just to the left of the car when it pulls into the intersection: I'm unloading equipment from the back of a car. When Will Smith and the dog get out, you can see me again. We were in Soho shooting this scene.

Launch the video! (:24) »

ASSORTED ACTING VIDEOS

★	Directing Scene from Pulp Fiction (2004)

My good, good friend Heather Collis and I got to work with director Andrew Hiss on a scene for his directing class. It was from Pulp Fiction.

To date (6/26/2009), I still haven't seen that film, so I hope this interpretation of the script I got is somewhere in the range of the filmed performance. It was a fun shoot. Yet, it was a bit funny making out with my friend; Andrew ended up cutting just before the makeout, but he has footage ... somewhere.

Launch the video! (2:32) »

★	Spamguard Boogie @ The Spamalot! Opening Night Party (3/18/2005)

For a time, I played the Yahoo! Spamguard outside Monty Python's Spamalot! in Times Square. One cool perq was that I got to go to the opening night party. There was a dancefloor, and I didn't let my uncomfortable knight's armor stop me from boogying.

Launch the video! (:25) »

SPEECHES & LECTURES

★	"On Knitting Sweaters during Conferences" @ The Making Sense Conference, Ft. Worth, TX (2006)

A humorous speech distinguishing between the terms "sense" and "nonsense," providing insight into my comedic techniques.

Delivered October 2006 in Ft. Worth, TX, at the Making Sense Conference, co-sponsored by the Institute of General Semantics.

Launch the video! (13:00) »

Click on a heading below to view an assortment of photos in my gallery.

MODELING

"Ben & Kate" (2007)
Photos by Damon Alfonso

Damon Alfonso (a fantastic photographer as well as my hairstylist) wanted to shoot, and he got a model named Kate and me together in the corner of another photographer's midtown Manhattan studio. We simply took photos in different setups, and the more we shot, a story started to unfold (at least for Damon). These are some of the highlights from that shoot.

"Ben, Aubrey, Dominick" (2007)
Photos by Damon Alfonso

This racy shoot was in Damon Alfonso's friend Dominick's apartment in Brooklyn. My good friend Aubrey and I had fun creating this fascinating shoot, which evolved over the course of an afternoon. Dominick's presence in the photos is mostly stylistic, much like the inclusion of his dogs and cat. This was obviously a memorable day of shooting, and it was really, really fun, too. Certainly not something you experience everyday!

"The Reverend Raymond Nader" (2007)
Photos by Brent Murray

I perform comic improvised sermons as The Reverend Raymond Nader. I was doing the character in a hillbilly sketch show called Ding Dang!, and Brent Murray, a photographer friend of a cast member, said he wanted to shoot me as my ecstatic character. This is the product of our shoot at 939 8th Ave. in Manhattan. For video of me as The Reverend, check out past sermons under the Videos tab. Better yet, you gotta see one in person! In the News section, click on the Upcoming Events tab for information on my next comic improvised sermon.

Assorted Modeling Photos

Here's a growing collection of shoots I've done, from the small-scale to the super-professional.

RUNNING

Racing Photos (2009)
Photos by Brightroom, et al.

In 2009, I decided to join the New York Road Runners Club to guarantee entry for the 2010 NYC Marathon. In order to guarantee my entry, I had to complete nine qualifying races. At many of these events, the photography company Brightroom takes my photo. Here is an assortment of racing-related photos from 2009, taken by Brightroom and others. And if you want to know my finishing results, search under "Benjamin Hauck" here!

Marathon Photos
Photos by Brightroom, et al.

In 2001, I ran my first NYC Marathon. I ran is again in 2003 after having knee surgery in 2002 for an injury. I ran it yet again in 2005, beating the previous years' times by a longshot. Training in 2007, I ended up getting a stress fracture in my pubic bone, most likely from overtraining. In 2009, I am set to run the Philadelphia Marathon, my first marathon in 4 years after not getting into the NYC Marathon via lottery for 3 straight years.

In order to guarantee my entry, I had to complete nine qualifying races. At many of these events, the photography company Brightroom takes my photo. Here is an assortment of racing-related photos from 2009, taken by Brightroom and others. If you want to know my NYC Marathon results, search under "Benjamin Hauck" here!

HEADSHOTS

Ben Hauck (2008)
Photos by Laura Rose

I absolutely loved my photo shoot with Laura Rose at Hoeberman Studios in Manhattan, and I highly recommend your working with her for your headshots. Below are the three shots I got reproduced, but I have many, many more great shots from the shoot.

Ben Hauck (2007)
Photos by Andrea Fischman

For this shoot, I told photographer Andrea Fischman I just wanted some shots that were not headshots, simply photos to inspire a new website design. We wandered around midtown Manhattan shooting, with my changing basically on the sidewalk. Fun, exciting, and engaging, the shoot yielded these photos and many more.

OTHER PHOTOS

The Onion (2002)
Photo by Mike Loew

This photo shoot for The Onion happened suddenly one late afternoon in front of the theater entrance curtains at the old Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre on W. 22nd St. in Manhattan. Mike Loew of The Onion snapped this photo of Curtis Gwinn and me for the article you'll see below. The article also appears in the 14th volume of compendium Ad Nauseum.

Also available at The Onion.com »

Also available in the book
The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives Volume 14 »

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

In case you didn't know, Manhattan does not have a SWAT Team. Instead, they have an ESU--Emergency Services Unit. And for four overnights in Lower Manhattan, I was a member of the ESU during the filming of the final battle sequence of Spider-Man 3. I didn't make it clearly into the film, though I think I can vaguely spot myself running across in one shot. I'm not totally sure.

Anyway, this get-up certainly got women's heads turning. A female friend of mine who worked that night gave me a totally different look when she saw me walking out for the first time in this outfit. And when we walked as a team, you could feel the wave of looks from the other extras. Such a trip!

Assorted Photos

Here is a mixed bag of other photos from my life. Enjoy!

Legit Shot

Hi-Resolution Version (5.0MB)

Commercial Shot

Hi-Resolution Version (5.7MB)

Professional Shot

Hi-Resolution Version (5.3MB)

For Ben Hauck's complete photo gallery with acting, modeling, and other photos,
click the Gallery tab above.

SELECTED ROLES

★ For a complete .pdf version of Ben Hauck's acting résumé, click here.

SCREEN
The Accidental Husband	Probie	Griffin Dunne, dir.
The Push	Davíd	Sherone Rabinovitz, dir.
Law & Order ("Surrender Dorothy")	Young Man (Steve)	NBC
Valentine's in Vegas Webcast	Co-Host	Yahoo!/Dr. Pepper
Yahoo! Answers Webcast	Host	Yahoo!
FOX & Friends	The World's La-Z-iest Shopper	FOX/Yahoo!

STAGE
Marcus Is Walking (World Premiere)	Various Roles	Otterbein College
Enter Laughing	David Kolowitz	Ohio State University
Ding Dang!	The Reverend	Six Figures Theatre Co.
Ding Dang in Space!	The Reverend	Six Figures Theatre Co.

APPEARANCE

Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 175 lbs.

UNION AFFILIATIONS

Screen Actors Guild
American Federation of Television & Radio Artists
Actors' Equity Association

TRAINING

★ Classically trained with 20+ years of experience as a stage performer.

Bachelor of Fine Arts (Acting), Otterbein College

Trained under Christina Kirk, Ed Vaughan, and Dennis Romer

Continuing Studies, The Barrow Group

Training under Seth Barrish

Long-Form Improvisation, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre

Trained under George Barenholtz, Kevin Mullaney,
Michael Delaney, and Billy Merritt

Unarmed Stage Combat, HB Studio

Trained under Ian Marshall

INTERNET MOVIE DATABASE ENTRY

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1211274/

WRITER PROFILE

Ben Hauck is a multidisciplined writer who has written published essays, prizewinning poetry, and produced plays, not to mention songs and a forthcoming book. He writes on the a number of topics including long-form improvisation, general semantics, sanity, and relationships.

Ben Hauck is author of Artistry & The Long-Form Improviser, a textbook on performing wildly popular and artistically meritorious long-form improvisation. It is currently under consideration for publication in 2010. As for future book aspirations, Ben hopes to write a textbook simplifying general semantics for current and future generations.

BOOKS

Artistry & The Long-Form Improviser: A Textbook for Scenic Improvisation	Pursuing Publication
	2009

This long-awaited textbook on performing scenic "long-form" improvisation is currently under publisher review with an anticipated publication in 2010.

Click here to contact Ben about the textbook »

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Ben Hauck has published a number of essays in the field of general semantics. He actively contributes writings both formal and informal to the field. Ben's clarity and sense of humor pervade his published works, and his background in teaching long-form improvisation informs his writings on the subject.

PUBLISHED ESSAYS

"A Better Tomorrow for General Semantics"	General Semantics Bulletin
	2007-2008

An essay promoting an identity for general semantics, as well as a simple definition of the term and field.

Originally published by the Institute of General Semantics, Inc., in General Semantics Bulletin, Vol. 74-75, 2007-2008.

Read the essay »

"A Simple Definition of General Semantics"	ETC: A Review of General Semantics
	October 2008

An essay outlining a simple definition of general semantics, both as a term and as a field.

Originally published by the Institute of General Semantics, Inc., in ETC: A Review of General Semantics, Vol. 65, No. 4, 2008.

Read the essay »

"Developing the Experience of Group Mind"	ETC: A Review of General Semantics
	July 2008

An essay distinguishing three meanings for the word "mind," relating one of those meanings to the group improvisation experience of group mind, and offering methods for making the experience of group mind more regularly achievable.

Adapted from a seminar-lecture for the New York Society for General Semantics presented January 2008 at the Albert Ellis Institute in New York City.

Originally published by the Institute of General Semantics, Inc., in ETC: A Review of General Semantics, Vol. 65, No. 3, 2008.

Note: The published version contains some unintended formatting problems. I am unclear about the source of the problems, but the new editor ran an errata in the next issue of ETC.

Read the errata from the following issue »
Read the essay »

"On Knitting Sweaters during Conferences"	General Semantics Bulletin
	2006

A humorous speech distinguishing between the terms "sense" and "nonsense," providing insight into my comedic techniques.

Delivered October 2006 in Ft. Worth, TX, at the Making Sense Conference, co-sponsored by the Institute of General Semantics.

Originally published by the Institute of General Semantics, Inc., in General Semantics Bulletin, No. 73, 2006.

Read the essay »
Watch the presentation (13:00) »

"A Tangible Experience of Time-Binding"	ETC: A Review of General Semantics
	January 2007

An essay making more immediate the experience of time-binding, a concept introduced by Alfred Korzybski in his book Manhood of Humanity.

Inspired by writing the report "'The World in Quandaries' Symposium" for ETC: A Review of General Semantics (see next published work).

Originally published by the Institute of General Semantics, Inc., in ETC: A Review of General Semantics, Vol. 64, No. 1, 2007.

Read the essay »

PUBLISHED REPORTS

"'The World in Quandaries' Symposium"	ETC: A Review of General Semantics
	January 2007

A report on the events at the World in Quandaries Symposium at Fordham University in September 2006, co-sponsored by the New York Society for General Semantics.

Originally published by the Institute of General Semantics, Inc., in ETC: A Review of General Semantics, Vol. 64, No. 1, 2007.

Read the report »

The occasional poet, Ben Hauck has won several prizes for his poetry. Oftentimes laden with puns and alliteration, he takes much of his inspiration from relationships both real and imagined, and his prizewinning poems are often on topics in religion. Wordplay is central to Ben's poetry, and some of his poems are nothing more than nonsense phraseology in the guise of meaningful text.

PRIZEWINNING POEMS

"Clock Man"	First Place, Roy Burkhart Religious Poetry Contest
	1998

A poem about a preacher.

Read the poem »

"Magic Wanda"	First Place, Roy Burkhart Religious Poetry Contest
	1997

A poem based loosely on a true story about a prayer circle.

Read the poem »

"The Deliverance of Nancy Prague"	First Place, Roy Burkhart Religious Poetry Contest
	1996

A poem inspired by the thought of a "white trash" woman experiencing a true immaculate conception.

Read the poem »

"Blush"	Second Place, Quiz & Quill Poetry Contest
	1996

A favorite poem of mine.

Read the poem »

SELECTED POEMS

"Projective Geometry"
	6/25/08

Bizarrely, inspired by the first season finale of the TV show Rock of Love, in which rock star Bret Michaels tries to find a girlfriend.

Read the poem »

"Laptop"
	6/11/08

Super pun-laden, inspired by an emotionally moving first time.

(This poem is related to the poem "Paint Stripper.")

Read the poem »

"Paint Stripper"
	6/10/08

Inspired by an emotionally moving first time.

(This poem is related to the poem "Laptop.")

Read the poem »

"Stars"
	11/3/04

About Aubrey.

Read the poem »

"Shoes"
	7/2/03

A gift poem for Aimée. One of my favorite poems, it is pun-laden and skillfully crafted.

Read the poem »

"X"
	7/1/03

In anticipation of a romantic encounter.

Read the poem »

"Punching Bag"
	6/24/03

Inspired by a painful interaction with an ex-girlfriend.

Read the poem »

"On Eating Eggs"
	6/15/03

Wordplay related to eating eggs.

Read the poem »

"One Last Poem Before I Die"
	6/15/03

Pure wordplay.

Read the poem »

"Tomato"
	11/11/02

About a girl I dated around the time.

Read the poem »

"11/8/02"
	11/8/02

A chilling expression of regret about a break-up.

Read the poem »

Untitled
	9/11/02

Written for a thread on pies on a message board.

Read the poem »

Untitled
	c.2002

Fake-flirting with Christy, I typed this favorite poem to her in an email.

Read the poem »

Untitled
	5/28/01

About a friend I liked.

Read the poem »

"Harass"
	late-1990s

A joke in a poem.

Read the poem »

"Lamenting the Fat Girl"
	c.1995

A poem inspired by Maura, someone I knew at college who annoyed me with her grandiose lies and clichéd interests.

Read the poem »

"Making a Tape"
	c.1995

Written the next morning in the library, then given to Susan with the tape.

Read the poem »

"Opus"
	c.1994

A pun-laden sexual poem about the opera.

Read the poem »

"Appetizer"
	c.1994

A fun, erotic poem.

Read the poem »

"Mugshot"
	c.1994

Written after hearing Miriam had too much coffee. Rife with puns.

Read the poem »

Untitled
	c.1993

I really like this short poem. It is actually a commentary on science.

(I think it actually has a long title but I don't recall it offhand.)

Read the poem »

Ben Hauck is an unskilled musical non-prodigy who does not let his inability interfere with his drive to create songs. You could say his style is "post-modern," as long as you keep the quotation marks intact. Often his songs are created from loops freely available on the internet. Other songs of his were created live using loops played over a Casio SK-1.

It was circa 1997 when he started creating songs. For background on his music making, see his Music Making page in the Interests section.

POSTING SONGS

These songs were created for various posting milestones on The Improv Resource Center, a major long-form improv website where I (known as benorbeen) was by far the most prolific poster. The songs make specific references to people and events on the IRC, as well as to improv, improv figures, improv ideas, and my own book on improv. My relationship with the IRC had generally been contentious, often the result of misunderstanding or hegemony (from my perspective). This leads to emotional as well as self-mocking songs, not to mention humorous songwriting that mockingly aggrandizes posting milestones and my place in the IRC culture.

"10,000"

One of my most artistically meritorious creations, it was received with some critically respectful reviews, but several strongly negative reviews. The song takes the form of a rant somewhat motivated by a New Year's Eve gone bad close to midnight, which sponsored a lot of anger. Emotion almost always motivates great writing from me: I had had the music for the song laid out for a long time, but I couldn't figure out what lyrics I wanted for it. This song weaves together different layers of lyrics, even connecting some of them interestingly. (I especially like how I say "underscored" repeatedly underneath some other lyrics, and how I connected "what Del Close said" with the chorus.

The song's lyrics are complimented by demonic voice modulations that are very loud and very scary. If you listen to this song in the dark, it can be quite a terrifying experience.

I like the song a lot. It is shocking and opinionated. It is a function of my relationship with the improv world at the time.

"10,000"
you step onto a message board
a message board, a message board
and you post a lot
you slit your throat on a message board
on a message board, on a message board
and you bleed a lot
[What is the Harold trying to say?
Just look at the end. Everything connects.
So don't you think the Harold is saying that--]
you cut your teeth on a message board
on a message board, on a message board
"you don't think a lot"
you laid your wreath on a message board
on a message board, on a message board
you dug your grave, now take your plot
[What use is taking a suggestion
if you're just gonna do whatever you please?
Have you heard the phrase "Take a hint"?
Well take the hint! Go with it,
and fucking come back around to it!
Jesus Christ! Lord have mercy on our souls!]
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
reputation, underscored,
underscored, underscored,
underscored, etc.,
... undeserved
[Don't you ever revise your maps?
Look at the territory? Improv has turned into
a bunch of back-patting, ass-grabbing, and
cluster-fucking. Where's the art?
Just because you call yourself an improviser,
doesn't mean you actually do it!]
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Do It Do It
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Do It Do It
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
This post is not Berrebbi Approved.
REPEAT: "I Do Not Need Berrebbi's Approval"!
humanation in a mental ward
in a mental ward, in a mental ward
i can't find my want
(i can't find my want, i can't find my want, etc.)
[The game of the scene is not what's interesting,
or what's funny, or the pattern of the scene.
My shirt has a fucking pattern.
The game of the scene is the interplay of wants.
Stop wasting time finding your feelings.
FIND YOUR WANT!]
[What is the Harold trying to say?
Just look at the end. Everything connects.
So don't you think that Del Close is saying--]
Do It Do It
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Do It Do It
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
[May I have a suggestion from the audience?
A word, a phrase, anything ...
Preferably not food.
We're all hungry.
Hungry for satisfaction.
And I want satisfaction.
GIMME A FUCKING SHOW!]
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000
Don't Ben Don't Been
Post 10,000 Post 10,000

"9,000"

This song was a significant improvement in my song-making skills, and it is reminiscent of the song "5,000," my second-ever posting song. It is a song I still listen to today.

I love the speed of the lyrics of this song. I penned them at work after already having drafted the music. Playing the music at work, I found different "-ation" words that fit together into great passages. Most of the lyrics have to do with my personal theories on improv, which at the time were significantly influenced by game theory and derivative ideas. The song references "Neutrino Nation"; Neutrino was a cutting-edge improv team at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre that had recently been dissolved by the theater for what sounded like controversial reasons. Essentially, I elevate their status with this song.

If I could do this song over, I would change the breakdown part of the song, which has always mildly annoyed me. I love the part when the lyrics happen again with a vocal modulation, but just before that when there are no lyrics, I needed a little more music else I needed to do something more interesting at that point. The song gets a little bit boring at that point to my ear. But despite that, it's a song I still love, and its beginning is quite incredible!

"9,000"
caught a contagion for
improv equation
the newest sensation:
"cooperation"
hardsell persuasion
on this occasion
9k fixation
(indoctrination)
chaotic information
and humanation
the characterization
of ideation
the next invasion
of improvisation
is coordination
else annihilation
gimme attention, i want your suggestion
a need for connection, long-form perfection
i hit reply and then i die, and
if i die i still reply, and
i make a thread and then i'm dead, and
when i'm dead i'll make a thread, and
ostentation
breeds irritation
yet in deviation
lies conjugation
cleave narration
for motivation
pursue for duration
then game rotation
the true ovation
is "cooperation"
refuse editation
on cachinnation
inspiration
yields termination:
where in tarnation's
neutrino nation?
gimme attention, i want your suggestion
a need for connection, long-form perfection
i hit reply and then i die
and if i die i still reply, and
i make a thread and then i'm dead
and when i'm dead i'll make a thread, and

"8,000 (Greatest Post of All)"

Using a karaoke version of Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love Of All," I altered the lyrics to be about posting on the IRC. One lyric references "ppd," which stands for "posts per day," which sometimes people reacted to in my site stats given how frequently I posted.

While I tried to sing it as best I could, my singing is notably bad in some places, which adds to the fun of the track. The song is a complete change of style and pace from how I had done the previous posting songs. For one, it was a cover; for two, it was truly sung.

I don't really listen to this song these days, but it's kinda sweet in a geeky, nerdy way. I absolutely love the final lyric.

"8,000 (Greatest Post Of All)"
I believe that improv is our future
Teach it well, perform it on the stage
Improvisers need a message board website
Give them a forum off-topic to make it easier
Let the newbies' laughter
Remind us how we used to post
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
"Is his name benorben or benorbean?"
A lonely place at work
And so I learned to use the IRC
I decided long ago
Never to act in anyone's shadows
If I post, the UCB
Will put me on a Harold team
No matter what they say about me
They can't take away my ppd
Because the greatest post of all
Is happening to me
I made the greatest post of all
On the IRC
The greatest post of all
Is easy to achieve
Hitting reply enough
You'll reach the greatest post of all
I believe that improv is our future
Teach it well, perform it on the stage
Improvisers need a message board website
Give them a quick-reply box to make it easier
Let the bits hereafter
Incline us all to sharp riposte
I decided long ago
Never to act in anyone's shadows
If I post, the UCB
Will put me on a Harold team
No matter what they say about me
They can't take away my ppd
Because the greatest post of all
Is happening to me
I made the greatest post of all
On the IRC
The greatest post of all
Is easy to achieve
Hitting reply enough
You'll reach the greatest post of all
And if by chance, that special pace
That you've been posting at
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in 'prov

"7,001"

Trying to surprise people, I posted "7,000," then I followed it with the song "7,001" on my next posting. "7,001" is a rap built on top of a loop that I'd created from a combination of Beaker from The Muppet Show and a line from Boogie Nights. To my ear, the combination is awesome. Quite accidentally, the song became a little bit about conceitedness ("being all about myself," as in "me me me me me me!").

The song is partly born from frustration about getting harassed on the IRC. At the time, I felt that if people wanted to make fun of me, I wouldn't be recommending their shows to my friends. Thus, their mocking of me would affect their audience turnout.

There is also a reference to Choo Choo Andee, the username of Andy Milonakis, the guy who improvised the song "The Superbowl (Is Gay)" and became an internet and television star because of it. Before he was famous he was an IRC member, who even showed up at one of my birthday parties!

"7,001"
seven thousand one posts
and i gotta project
i gotta bunsen burner, beaker,
and a cock that's erect
it talks like a big chicken
broil it on the flame
in new york city improv cirques
i've got abundant fame
'cause i post like a hooker
who hasn't got a pimp
but instead she's got the internet
and johns who are limp
you can't feed me alcohol
i won't puff on your smokes
you insist you know my motives,
i won't laugh at your jokes
if you show me any meanness
i will boycott your show
and i'll publicize it
to friends who would go
if you say that's unsupportive
you took the first step ...
don't mess with seven thousand one--
*
seven thousand one posts
let's make it seven thousand two
i've got a dsl connection,
boring job, and a clue
colonel mustard in the kitchen
miss scarlett with the pipe
choo choo andee on the kimmel show
ben hauck on the mike
tearing up the irc like a pit bull in a pickle
never showing signs of stopping, never slowing to a trickle
you think i am a nincompoop and then you condescend
but you don't know a thing at all and you can't comprehend
if you show me any meanness
i will boycott your show
and i'll publicize it
to friends who would go
if you say that's unsupportive
you took the first step ...
don't mess with seven thousand one--

"7,000"

This song was the first really big stylistic departure for me. Before this, the songs were getting louder and more electronic. Suddenly, this "smooth jazz" song shows up for my 7,000th post and 4th posting song.

The song is put together from some related loops I found on the internet. I don't recall if they're all related, but some of them were. The woman was unnamed in the files I found.

Emotionally, I was in a weird place. Specifically, I remember being mocked by some well-known female in the community then, but exactly how I was mocked I don't recall. Whatever the case, it was someone I'd met through a girlfriend on good terms, who later didn't behave too nicely toward me.

The song is a little about self-loathing and/or depression. That's probably why I'm not too keen to it today.

"7,000"
you press submit
seven thousand times
on a message board
hated (right)
you and your crown
what is it worth
on a message board?
nothing (right)
today is the day i say i posted 7k
today is the day i say i posted 7k
today is the day i say i posted 7k
and that was my day
turning on ignore
voting you a 1
calling this support
loser (right)
you've gone nowhere
you don't improv
barely even coach
poser (right)
today is the day i say i posted 7k
today is the day i say i posted 7k
today is the day i say i posted 7k
and that was my day
and that was my day

"6,000"

This song was created with a lot of humor, and it's one of my favorite songs: it's like a mantra.

The song's vocals are created by a program into which I could type words that it spoke. I typed in only a few things and fit it to a great beat.

The second chorus is really chilling to me. Then it segues into a ridiculous reference to the Prince song "When Doves Cry," alluding to their sounding like roosters crowing. Part of that referred to a related identity on the IRC that spoofed me known as cockofbenorbeen.

"6,000"
benorbeenorbenorbeen
6000posts
improvresourcecenter
thisiswhatitsoundslikewhendovescry
hahahahahahahahahaha

"5,000"

My first "major" song, this is my first time formally experimenting with looping software. I found some awesome dance loops and created a cool dance track with them.

It also features a blizzard of cool rhymes. At the time, the IRC garnered a lot of internet fame because it featured a journal called "True Porn Clerk Stories." Many new members joined just to add their own journals, which proved a little bit of a problem as the IRC was not a blog site.

This song was a surprising contrast to "4,000," the first posting song I made. An ironic braggadocious arrogance is evident in this song as in other posting songs, which is not sincere and instead intended for comic effect.

And included in it is the work of two contributors. The IRC's spacedani contributed the female sounds in the bridge, and the IRC's domweasel contributed the vocally modulated phrase near the end of the bridge. (I'd recruited the IRC to provide me with soundbytes to whip into a song, and domweasel was the only obliging member.)

"5,000"
time to introduce
i'm benorbeen
posting on the irc
god knows when
computer keyboard
haven't got a pen
the last song i wrote
called "4,000"
sorry to be mean
call me benorbeen
doesn't really matter
it's just how it's seen
i have a lot of posts
don't mean to boast
but please raise your glass
i'm gonna make a toast
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
oops, wow!
that was kinda loud
i was hoping you could hear me,
porn clerk crowd
you come to read a journal
i'm a lot more eternal
i'm a big fat popcorn
and you are but a kernel
post like an uzi
online jacuzzi
on my coke there's a koozie
i'm feeling kinda woozy
did someone spike my drink?
i post before i think
i think i'm at the brink
watch my face turn PINK!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!
I HAVE 5,000 POSTS!

"4,000"

Here's the first posting song I ever created. On the IRC, I was top poster, and there was a lot of silly hoohah about the various posting milestones I'd achieve. By far I was the most prolific poster, no one even coming close to the number of posts I'd produce. This annoyed a number of people, though I don't think it ever annoyed me when others would post frequently.

The song was created as a surprise for the IRC. I decided I'd create a rap to "celebrate" the event. A lot of the references aren't understood by current IRC members. It references ...

...Tereyn (a young girl who appeared on the IRC when I was challenged to shut up for a month, who got mercilessly attacked for being a fraud when she was indeed a young girl, one whose guardian I tracked down to let know of the treatment she was being subjected to on the IRC, thus breaking my IRC silence), Gondorchin (as in the member Frank Gondorchin, who would upset me for various reasons I don't remember anymore), not doing improv (I had left improv at this time out of frustration), ppd (posts per day, 8.24 being my ppd around the time, a rather high number), youngcat (a member who seemed to get jealous when I lapped him in posts in the very early days of the IRC), Respecto Montalban (the famed improv group whose Harold style I found very inspiring, and whose Harold may have influenced me to take my first improv classes), "dom" (as in dominatrices, a couple of whom were friends of mine for a summer), and mullaney (the webmaster for the IRC, whom a friend of mine and I convinced to wear a Burger King crown for a CageMatch show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in 2001; I also had an avatar for a while of mullaney's photo, onto which I airbrushed a beard).

Improvland, a now-defunct improv website at the time, celebrated as the second most mportant event in improv in 2001 my achievement of 2,000 posts on the IRC. That might have been the start of my paying any attention to posting milestones. I reference Improvland in this song, too.

"4,000"
i post the most posts
i roast the board's host
the bearded mullaney
ya know what i'm sayin?
ya know what i mean?
of course you don't
i'm ben or bean
or ben or ben
i got more posts than eminem
protecting little girls who are named tereyn
stealing photos and giving captions
i have my very own off-topic forum
getting pissed off by gondorchin
and just when you think my reign's gonna end
i slam another post, number 4000

and just when you think my reign's gonna end
i slam another post, number 4000
and just when you think my reign's gonna end
i slam another post, number 4000

i used to do improv but now i don't
i know a few people, i got their goat
i took four classes at ucb
--8.24 ppd--
that's post per day, you say what's dat?
i didn't really know til this guy youngcat
got real pissed off when i lapped him with my posts
"we like hot butter on our breakfast toast"
number 2 in '01 on improvland
when i slammed my post, number 2000
and just when you think i can't yes-and
i slam another post, number 4000

and just when you think i can't yes-and
i slam another post, number 4000
and just when you think i can't yes-and
i slam another post, number 4000

controversy, i like to spark it
my acting career, i like to market
i'll tell you all about benhauck.com
and at what site my mp3's are on
you might ignore me but i won't be gone
as long as i can turn this computer screen on
i first fell love with respecto montalban
i had a couple friends who were into dom
we'd go to see a harold, there'd never be a frown
cuz we got mullaney 'wear a burger king crown
but that's all real and this is pretend
this irc i tend to offend
at 3-9-9-9 will it ever end?
hell no, this post, number 4000

and just when you think my reign's gonna end
i slam another post, number 4000
and just when you think my reign's gonna end
i slam another post, number 4000
and just when you think my reign's gonna end
i slam another post, number 4000

COMPUTER-AIDED SONGS

There was the age of homemade songs that used a tape recorder for recording, then there was the age of songs created with the aid of a computer. The songs contained in this section were all made in some way or another by use of the computer. These songs tend to incorporate sound files found freely on the internet and mixed using audio software. Still DIY, the quality is increased in these songs from the homemade age--mostly sound quality and precision.

"Ladies & Gentlemen"

I actually posted this rather randomly for my 12,900th post on the IRC. (See Posting Songs above if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

Though I didn't know it at the time, the looping broadcast audio is a slightly edited clip from Orson Welles's The War of the Worlds. When I created this song, I think I just wanted to make a song. In addition to the broadcast audio, there's a snippet from Kris Kross's song "Jump" unevenly placed in the song, an Al Pacino clip, and Star Wars attack insinuations. It's a funny song in that respect. The loop makes the song a little monotonous, but I don't mind it. Oh, and the final soundbyte is from The Mighty Wind.

"Ladies & Gentlemen"
[This song is an instrumental.]

"Pot Roast & Potatoes"

I had created the music for this song, but I'd not penned the lyrics. My roommate at the time, a musical theater actress, came into my room and had fun mocking the song, offering me the first lyric: "My mom, she made some pot roast & potatoes..." I think that's a direct quote.

From there, a song about my family life evolved. This song is based on the generally true nature of my family life. It's sad and funny at the same time, sort of a family commentary.

As for the lyrics, they are the lyrics you hear but woven together a la the end of the song. This song is catchy and fun, with what sounds like a James Brown sample toward the end.

"Pot Roast & Potatoes"
my i've mom, told she you made 5,000 some times pot i roast am & tired potatoes too
my i've dad, told he you said 5,000 he times can't i be am home tired for too dinner
my i've bro, told he you said 5,000 he times won't i eat am the tired potatoes too
my i've mom, told she you cried 5,000 as times she i folded am the tired laundry too

"P"

I don't quite remember what inspired this song, other than just coming up with a silly idea. This song was quickly created I believe soon after "4,000," and it was posted on the IRC as well. The idea was making July 19th "P Day." I don't believe I elaborated on what that meant, I just invented it.

That day or around that time, I'd had a knee injury, and I'd gotten an MRI done. I may have gone to get the MRI done just before making this song. Whatever the case, its multi-letter name worked its ways into a song about a single letter, as did other letter references. The opening toilet flush and the farting noise in the song bring out the urination theme in the song, though I don't actually recall thinking I wanted to add those for thematic reasons. They may have been simply interesting sonic ideas that fit into the song!

Anyway, it's a really catchy tune. Enjoy.

"P"
p, that's me
gotta look and c
not d, not e, not f, not g
put me in a cup for a drug test, c
not we, not u, just p, that's me
got a bad knee, i
go to radiology
get an mri
but there's no p
no p? no p
no p? no p
n-o-p-e
nope, no p

"The Superbowl (Is Gay)"

This is a cover of the improvised Choo Choo Andee song that made him famous. I released it on the IRC along with "10,000," having re-discovered it more than a year after having made it.

It was only a demo at the time, giving a more techno vibe to his made-up song. The song is not very good, simply a draft of an attempt to do something different with the song. Should you want to watch and hear the original version, last I checked, the video is online here.

"The Superbowl (Is Gay)"
by Andy Milonakis
The Superbowl is gay
The Superbowl is gay
The Superbowl Superbowl Superbowl is gay
The Raiders are gay
The Raiders are so fucking gay
Raiders are so fucking gay
The Raiders are gay
The Bucks are gay
The Bucks are also fucking gay
The Bucks are also fucking gay
The Bucks are also fucking gay
The Bucks are gay
Raiders, gay
The Bucks, gay
Superbowl, gay
Everything else, gay
Water, gay
Cologne is gay
DVD players are gay
DVDs are gay
Stray cats are gay
The sky is gay
It's also sometimes gray
But it's mostly gay
Cottage cheese, gay
Yogurt, gay
Shirts, gay
Vacuum cleaners, gay
Electronic devices, name 'em, a lot of 'em are gay
Why are they so gay?
Why is everything gay?
KFC is gay
McDonald's is gay
McDonald's is gay
You must not misunderstand me when I say McDonald's is gay because it is so gay
Orange juice, gay
Orange juice, gay
Orange juice raped my father...
So that makes him gay
['Cause as you know orange juice is a male]
Gay, gay
Gay, gay, gay
I don't wanna play with you 'cause you're gay
I don't wanna play with you 'cause you're gay
Why don't you go eat hay
You stupid gay
Why don't you go eat KFC which I already told you is gay
So that would make a nice gay couple
Because you eat KFC and you are so gay just like the chicken that you're eating
Put on some cologne you faggot 'cause you're gay
And so is the cologne and everything is gay that I know
Dollar bills are gay
Coins, gay
Monitors are gay
Monitors are gay
Scanners are gay
Zip drives, gay
CD burners, gay!
CD burners are gay!
They burn music from Kazaa but they're gay
Ay, ay
Ay, ay, ay
I am not gay
I am not gay
I am not gay
I like girlies...
I like girlies
But I also like penis
So I guess I'm gay
I guess I'm gay
I guess I'm gay
Gay, (etc.) We're all gay

"Razor Blades, Sock Puppets"

Verbally, this song is nonsense. Emotionally, it is honest and painful. What motivated the lyrics was a girl I liked a lot but who didn't like me. She pained me; hence, "it hurts when I hear you talk." The reference to razor blades and sock puppets is nonsense, possibly a perfect poetic characterization of my feelings at the time.

The music is intentionally ridiculously loud. The opening clip is from a children's book a girlfriend gave me in college. The book played sounds of squirrels at the push of different buttons. I think I created this song on the computer, but I don't remember how I created the super-loud music. Possibly by plugging my Casio SK-1 into the computer.

"Razor Blades, Sock Puppets"
it hurts when i hear you talk
razor blades
sock puppets

HOMEMADE SONGS

In the beginning, my music was DIY and totally homemade, using a Casio SK-1 sampling keyboard and anything I could find that made an interesting sound. I often drew from toy instruments such as battery-powered air drumsticks and a plastic keymonica. The samples I used during this period tended I'd make from cheap cassette tapes I'd buy with notches cut out of the sides, or from movies whose audio I could pump through my stereo and record.

"This Party Ain't Got No Alcohol"

This is one of my anthems. The chorus came to me while driving to work in North Carolina one morning. I don't drink, and I don't think it's very cool, but I knew that was generally the opposite sentiment of people my age (I was in college when I wrote this song). I actually got cast in a play in NYC because of this song; at an audition they asked us to rap, so I brought this out in the audition and it worked.

The music is some kind of loop I made on my Casio SK-1, possibly a loop of a toy keymonica I played.

It's funny: The song is badass because it's so contra-badass. But admittedly, my brother is more badass than I am: He's featured in the chorus and sounds more authentic. And of course, my mom got in on the action, which makes the song extra sweet!

"This Party Ain't Got No Alcohol"
hey, wait,
you know it's not late
where ya think you're goin' with that oilslick date?
they say this party'll go down like murdered sharon tate
so you better just sit and wait
hey, you's,
stop right in your shoes
this ain't no rules and you's ain't no fools
where ya takin' flipper from the place where it's cools
what's that you say? no booze?
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
trippin', sippin',
fartknockers rippin'
in the phat frat house with the studs and the phillies
givin' each other's wet willies, sillies
but here are gina's
we ain't got no zimas
or buds, or bud lights, or red dog
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
sorry, schmucks,
barfin' outta trucks
we don't do that kinda schtuff
'cuz we like to party,
not vomit in a potty
no cigs, no joints, no snuff
we play twister, mousetrap, card games
pin-the-tail-on-the-bleepin'-bleep-donkey
we don't get arrested
we don't go to jail
we don't get arraigned
we don't post bail
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
cops come
men armed with guns
partygoers pullin' out their weapons
mess of beer and bullet bad-shots
six men dead, six women
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL
THIS PARTY AIN'T GOT NO ALCOHOL

"All Yesterday"

One of my original sad but funny but still sad songs, "All Yesterday" features a toy keymonica for which I created and recorded on a mini tape recorder the music. I simply played the recording when singing into my real tape recorder. This was a method that allowed me to expand what I could do in my songs. It was fun and creative, though definitely lofi.

"All Yesterday"
the car is wrecked
the house burned down
all yesterday
the dog is dead
i lost an arm
all yesterday
all yesterday
i did not know what was to come
all yesterday
naïveté reigned supreme
my cd broke
i got a b
all yesterday
stock prices dropped
jan got cottage cheese thighs
all yesterday

"Miss Piggy"

A very bizarre song intermixing Muppet references and references to literature, this song didn't really ever make sense though it almost seems to, including some interesting ideas (read the first stanza and the last stanza). It's a least very fun to sing, esp. if you want to create a disturbing mood.

"Miss Piggy"
fiction faked me out
novelty wasn't novel
pages passed by like time
and time is slow to learn
big bird wasn't my aunt
snuffy doesn't have a coke habit
if i could have a muppet
i would have miss piggy
kermit can go screw off
dive himself into a book
read about poisonous frogs
read about the elephant man
non-fiction tells more truth
that's 'cuz it's not so novel
if i could have a muppet
i would have miss piggy

"Git Along, Lil Dogies"

I found the lyrics for "Git Along, Lil Dogies" on the back of a record of Western songs. I didn't know how it went at the time, so I simply took the lyrics and made music for it. It's really fun to sing this way!

"Git Along, Lil Dogies"
A folk song.
As I was walking one morning for pleasure
I spied a cowpuncher riding along
His hat was throwed back and his spurs were a-jingling
And as he approached he was singing this song
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home

"Torment The Sister Who Loves You"

I think this is one of my catchiest and funniest song ideas in my early years of writing songs. I don't actually have a sister, but this is what I'd do to her if I had one.

"Torment The Sister Who Loves You"
put the curler in the toilet
tie the tampons to the dog
string her bras on the flagpole
torment the sister who loves you
push her q-tips in your nostrils
sell all her billy joel records
put a snake in her panty drawer
torment the sister who loves you
tell her how much you love her
cross your fingers at your behind
tell her how much she means to you
then exploit her in the tabloids
send her diary to her boyfriend
cut her curly locks while she's sleeping
go tell mom that she has herpes
torment the sister who loves you

"Postage Stamps"

This song, made in college and perhaps my last song before the computer-aided age, was inspired by my perception of punk at the time. (In all honestly, I didn't really have a sense of it, from what I recall.) It is based on the story of my time working in the mailroom of the Pepsi-Cola Customer Service Center, with some obscure references only a few of the people there will understand, perhaps forgotten over time. Basically, someone there used to work for a pizza place and there were sexual shenanigans of some sort there.

"Postage Stamps"
deep inside my mind
peek and then you'll find
a yogurt and some
postage stamps
at the store while shopping
look behind the cereal
take a look at
postage stamps
i went to work to make some pizzas
walked in the back door for no reasons
found a stick of used pepperoni
my eyes turned to the manager
flush the commode
mop the floor
fill the soap
clean the hands
clean the hands
clean the hands
clean the hands
clean the hands
right beside the handtruck
over by the mail
take off all the
postage stamps
underneath the sausage
licked on there somehow
someone put some
postage stamps
i went to work to make some pizzas
walked in the back door for no reasons
found a stick of used pepperoni
my eyes turned to the manager
flush the commode
mop the floor
fill the soap
clean the hands
clean the hands
clean the hands
clean the hands
clean the hands

As a playwright, Ben Hauck has had productions of his one-act plays performed at Theatre-Studio, Inc., and Otterbein College. His plays are often commentaries on ridiculous social policies and conditions he encounters life, taken to their logical consequences. His playwriting is noted for its zany humor and graphic theatricality. Ben's plays require of their performers absolute emotional involvement and serious attention to scripted detail.

PRODUCED PLAYS

"After Class"	The Theatre Studio, Inc., 1999
	Otterbein College, 1998

A teacher rehearses what he'll say in a parent-teacher conference.

One act. Cast: 1m. Length: 20min.

Read the play »

"The Bomb Holding Co."	Otterbein College
	1998

An employee at an unusual mall kiosk tries to manage during a challenging day on the job.

One act. Cast: 4f, 3m. Length: 12min.

Read the play »

SELECTED PLAYS

"Eating Dancers"
	2001

Three dancers walk into a diner and order ... nothing.

One act. Cast: 3f, 2m. Length: 25min.

Read the play »

"Normalcy"	High-placing entry in CATCO's "Airport! The Shorts Festival"
	2001

A playwright, departing for home after horrible rehearsals for his play in the "Airplane! The Shorts Festival," meets at the airport a young actress moving to New York City, who has just quit rehearsals for a play in Columbus.

Written expressly for CATCO, with specific references to its administration, and written post-9/11.

One act. Cast: 2f, 2m, 1n. Length: 12min.

Read the play »

*Elemenopy*	(Rough Draft)
	2001

A man with attention deficit disorder and bruised self-esteem sets out to buy milk for his wife but finds this most menial task extremely difficult to focus on.

Three acts. Cast: 3-4f, 3-4m. Length: 1hr.,15min.

Read the play »

"Bi-Partisan"
	1998

With the government now issuing cards that denote sexuality, a man enters the licensing office to get his heterosexuality card.

One act. Cast: 3m, 2f. Length: 12min.

Read the play »

"Enter Pylades"
	c.1997

They have come to see the same actor in a production of the very long Greek epic, The Oresteia. One has come to watch as a friend, the other has more duplicitous purposes.

One act. Cast: 3m. Length: 15min.

Read the play »

★Ben Hauck

TEACHER PROFILE

Ben Hauck is an internationally known teacher of long-form improvisation, having taught and produced long-form improvisation in the United States, Canada, and England. A member of both the Institute of General Semantics and the New York Society for General Semantics, he has taught seminars in general semantics and writes frequently on the topic. An actor by trade, he is also an accomplished monologue coach whose precision approach moves actors quickly over obstacles as they prepare their monologues for audition.

Ben Hauck is an internationally renowned

teacher of long-form improvisation.

Specialized in training non-performers to become brilliant improvisers in short amounts of time, I create ummatchably supportive improvisation seminars and programs for beginners and advanced improvisers that develop the participants' abilities in comedy, presentation, entertainment, public speaking, and sustained teamwork, not to mention improvisation.

Click the tabs below for information on my improv classes, custom improv programs, and private coaching.

EXPERIENCE

In the United States, Canada, and England, Ben Hauck has directed improv shows and taught improvisers from The Second City, Upright Citizens Bridge Theatre, IO formerly ImprovOlympic, The Groundlings, Washington Improv Theater, The Bad Dog Theatre, and The Impatient Theatre Co. He is director and designer of Infusion Improv, a global consulting firm's custom-made long-form improv program designed to train software engineers to perform improv in front of live audiences. Infusion Improv has performed completely improvised shows in New York City, Toronto, and London.

From 2002-2006, he was the exclusive coach for the long-form improv group Devil's Dancebelt. Ben Hauck trained in long-form improv at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in NYC from 2000-2001, and he earned his Bachelor of Fine Arts in Acting from Otterbein College.

TESTIMONIALS

I run ecstatic classes in improvisation. Here are some of the many exuberant reactions to improv classes I've taught ...

Thank you! I want to say you are one of the most organized, professional directors I've worked with. You are clear and your criticism is always constructive and propels me to work harder. And most of all you have created a supportive, safe, and incredibly fun space to work in.

- Stephanie Keating

I remember during the first several rehearsals, there was an air of shyness and apprehension, but by the end, everyone had really come out of their shells--surprising and challenging me in ways that even some professional performers neglect!

I know that this level of comfort sprung from the enthusiastic and supportive environment Ben promoted in rehearsal. I learned some great improv skills and I appreciate that he breaks principles down into simple concepts that are easy to focus on one at a time.

- Andrea Lui

This is actually a really great chance just to hang out with the guys from the office [...], just to actually see them, since I don't really see them during any other time. They're all really great guys and girls. I got to know them better, and we had some fun. Just a really great experience all around.

- Daniel Levine

Part of trying to prove myself is to work on coming out of my shell and being more social with other people, and I find that this is really helping me build up my confidence to be able to do that, and just coming up with situations and things off the top of my head. I think it's really helping me improve on my self-confidence and being in social situations and doing presentations in front of a group of people. It's a lot of fun, but I think you'll also get a lot of out of it, too.

- Andrew Hinton

It's a great way to become more confident when you're speaking to people. A lot of people before they do improv think that if they get up onstage and are in the middle of a scene, they'll have no idea what to say. But usually you'll know exactly what to say, and it'll come along very naturally, and it's surprising but it's also very liberating. So, it's a lot of fun.

- Cecily Carver

Ben was an enormously perceptive and intelligent coach. He identified exactly what we needed to take our scenes to the next level, and really maximized our time as a group. From finding the perfect game to fix our slower scenes, to clear and spot-on feedback for each beat, his style is efficient and inspiring. His teachings complemented the techniques we had learned, and they offered a definite upgrade in the overall quality of our scenes. Go Ben!

- Jessica Cohen

You are a great teacher. The students possessed what only a good teacher can instill...they supported each other and never lost their sense of fun.

- Lisa Robinson

Not only does Ben Hauck have amazing concepts for improvising, he communicates his methods extremely well. He helps his actors understand the choices they are making and what they can do to improve those choices.

- Sara Laudonia

Ben - fearless leader - your guidance and faith in us inspired us all along to do more than our best (and go the extra mile to make it each week).

- Peter Goth

I would definitely do it again. It's a lot of fun. You feel really good after you do it. It's very exciting.

- Andrea Richardson

Working with Ben Hauck's theories has opened up a simpler way to explore improvisation and has led me to cleaner, leaner work, onstage and directing. The simple and direct methodologies espoused in The Humanation Of Chaos [Ben's forthcoming book on long-form improv] have allowed me to establish objective and useful critiques of a very subjective art form. "Only a certified medical professional can decide if Ben Hauck is right for you. If you think you or your students could benefit from better improv, talk to your doctor about Ben Hauck."

- Joe Mathers

SHORT, POWERFUL IMPROV CLASSES

Ben Hauck's Short, Powerful Improv Classes are compact crash courses in long-form improv designed to give people dying to learn improv the time to finally learn it.

Short, Powerful Improv Classes are well suited to actors and entertainers looking to finally learn about improv and to develop improv skills for their careers. Beginners are also welcome additions to these classes, where everyone is treated as a respected equal.

Short, Powerful Improv Classes are offered in 5 weekly installments several times a year in NYC.

Visit Powerful Improv.com »

SAMPLE CLASSES

Several times a year in NYC and around the world, Ben Hauck leads fun and funny sample improv classes. Sample improv classes focus improvisers on key concepts of long-form improv and group improv. Sample classes allow participants to try improv and its ideas and to get acquainted with Ben Hauck's exciting style of teaching.

Sample improv classes are often offered as the beginning of a powerful multi-week program in long-form improv. They are open to beginning improvisers as well as experienced improvisers interested in hearing fresh perspectives, working with new people, and reconnecting with core improv principles.

For information on the next sample improv class, visit Powerful Improv.com »

PRIVATE COACHING

I have worked exclusively with improv groups in NYC, Toronto, and London to create cohesive improv teams, developing their group coordination abilities and clarifying their scenic and artistic objectives.

I also work with theater companies to unify casts in the lead-up to production.

My private improv group coaching rates are competitive and vary based on project. Request a quote via phone or email by explaining your project and your particular needs.

Contact me »

CONTACT

To contact me for a class or coaching, call (212) 252-4706 or fill in the form below and click SEND.

E-NEWSLETTER

Ben Hauck is a teacher of general semantics,

the study of reactions to language.

A general semantics author and lecturer with several essays published in general semantics journals, my contributions to general semantics are often fun, aimed at making general semantics easily accessible. The lessons I teach in general semantics simplify points in the field, while my lessons in applied general semantics allow students to adopt its scientific principles quickly so that they may relate them for extraordinary benefit in their own work and lives.

Click the tabs below for information on my general semantics classes and workshops.

EXPERIENCE

For several years now, I have given lectures, run seminars, and served as moderator for panel discussions for general semantics events including the Making Sense Conference in Ft. Worth, TX, the Mind & Consciousness Symposium at Fordham University in NYC, and the Mind & Consciousness Seminar Series at the Albert Ellis Institute in NYC for NYSGS.

In Fall 2008, I taught three introductory classes in general semantics for the New York Society for General Semantics. Titled "How to Improv Your Life," I drew from my extensive improv teaching experience to train people in applying general semantics principles, also providing a context for its common-sense, transformational ideas.

I have been published several times in the academic journal ETC: A Review of General Semantics and the journal General Semantics Bulletin, and I continue to write for these journals.

In addition to sitting on the Board of Directors for the New York Society for General Semantics and being a member of the Institute of General Semantics, I am also webmaster for the websites of both organizations, and I serve as moderator for the General Semantics Discussion Forums.

Discovering general semantics quite by accident in the my college library, I trained myself in general semantics skills while also studying for a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Acting. Upon moving to NYC, I was able to make connections in the general semantics community, and I have actively contributed to the field of general semantics since.

TESTIMONIALS

Here are some reactions to my lectures and papers on general semantics ...

I read your article in the Volume 65, No.4 issue of ETC titled "A Simple Definition of General Semantics" with great interest. I especially like the approach "... A study of..." [...] Your article is much appreciated for its clarifying approach to a much needed definition of the subject.

- John W. Merrick

I absolutly love the way you write. Concise, to the point, well thought out, easy to follow, valid points with supporting evidence.

- Darcy Buelow

I was very impressed by your opening remarks—seems like an excellent article in the making and much food for thought [...] I especially appreciated your clarity, energy, and enthusiasm.

- Kathy Liepe-Levinson

You got everyone involved and participating, and on top of that, your analysis of "what is Mind" received several laudatory comments, suggesting that you should get it published in ETC [...]

- Allen Flagg

GENERAL SEMANTICS CLASSES

I teach introductory classes in general semantics for the New York Society for General Semantics.

To train people in applying general semantics principles, I draw from my extensive improv teaching experience as well as my extensive experience writing while employing general semantics principles. My classes and my active use of general semantics principles provides context for its common-sense, transformational ideas and aids people in applying its principles in their own lives.

Watch NYSGS.org for information on upcoming classes »

PRESENTATIONS

From time to time I give presentations in general semantics at the New York Society for General Semantics and general semantics conferences and symposia.

For information on future presentations, subscribe to my e-newsletter or watch the Upcoming Events tab in the News section of my website.

You may also watch the website for the New York Society for General Semantics for its upcoming events.

CONTACT

To contact me for a class in general semantics, give me a call at (212) 252-4706 or fill in the form below and click SEND.

E-NEWSLETTER

Ben Hauck is a popular New York City acting coach

who specializes in monologue coaching.

A highly supportive and positive coach, I provide actors with objective and constructive feedback for their monologues along with invaluable guidance for taking their pieces to the next level. After a single one-hour session, actors leave with their monologues substantially improved and all the more prepared for important auditions.

Click the tabs below for information on private monologue coaching.

EXPERIENCE

With over 20 years of performance experience and a BFA in Acting from Otterbein College, Ben Hauck brings an informed perspective on acting and a natural coaching talent to monologue coaching. At college, his developed ability at coaching acting was sought after by fellow classmates as well as non-acting majors. In New York City, Ben Hauck has continued coaching acting by working with actors to improve their monologues for college and graduate school auditions and theater and film auditions. His unique training in general semantics makes him an exceptionally receptive monologue coach, allowing him to provide uncanny objective and practical feedback. His years of experience training non-performers in improvisation aids him in getting quality work rapidly from beginning actors and novices. In addition to training at Otterbein College, Ben has trained in New York City at The Barrow Group and Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

TESTIMONIALS

Here is some enthusiastic feedback from actors with whom I've had the pleasure to work on monologues ...

Not only does Ben have a careful and well-trained eye, he was able to coach me away from some bad habits and bring a naturalism to my monologues. And while his sense of humor is unmistakable, he takes his students seriously and gives advice with great heart and specificity. In short, I was able to audition with more confidence and really enjoy performing thanks to Ben.

- Lyssa Mandel

I've enjoyed working with Ben more than I can say. On my bad days, he's helped me create characters from nothing at all; on good ones, he's given me the extra vote of confidence I've used to get a callback. All in all, a great, PATIENT, and efficient coach, and a great human being as well.

- Kara Jackson

Thank you for working with me, Ben! You were incredibly helpful and I will definitely be working with you on some more pieces. I had a great time and I made so much progress with it! You rock!!!

- Casey Weaver

Ben's extensive experience as an actor and director along with his ability to bring out the best in others make him an excellent monologue coach. He has a tremendous talent for evoking a deeper understanding of text and character, and he helped me to explore my monologues in ways I never would have on my own.

- Lisa Moses

Ben's enthusiastic, practical coaching helped me to truly connect with the material and the character of my piece. He infuses creativity, kindness and insight into his teachings, inspiring me to greatly improve on my performances.

- Aimée Davison

APPROACH

As a monologue coach, I revere a naturalistic, "inside-out" approach to acting. That means I first work with you on your emotional reality during the monologue, allowing your physical reality to emerge as a consequence.

During your session, I concentrate on developing your imagery, specifically the imagery of the character you're addressing in the monologue. I also help you clarify what your character's objective is in the monologue to make sense of every choice your character makes in the monologue. The ultimate aim is to get you to a level of emotional truth to allow you to simply "live" through the monologue whenever you tackle it.

In your session, you will learn how to own your material. You'll leave knowing what you need to do to make your work fresh, alive, and undeniably good every time you do it.

I attend more to making a solid monologue performance independent of the play in which it is contained rather than making the monologue completely consistent with the play that contains it. That being said, any information you bring to the session about the play that informs the monologue may be helpful in taking it in a direction. Read the full play if you can, but if you can't, I work you toward making a solid monologue that stands on its own as a performance.

ABOUT YOUR SESSION

You provide the monologue,

I provide the coaching.

First, contact me for my availability for a session. Recommend a few times you'd like to work. I'll get back to you usually within the day and work out a time to meet you. Often I can be booked for emergency monologue sessions for that awesome audition you just landed.

For your monologue session, you book and pay for the studio space we work in. Booking a studio space is easy. I recommend trying some of the following rehearsal studios in Manhattan for their most affordable available offerings. (You may try another Manhattan studio if you wish.) Some rehearsal studios may have discounts for union members or for same-day bookings. Just ask when you call.

Recommended Rehearsal Studios in Manhattan
Ripley-Grier Studios	(212) 799-5433	3 Locations: 520 8th Ave., 939 8th Ave., 131 W. 72nd St.
Weist-Barron Studios	(212) 840-7025	35 W. 45th St.
Shetler Studios	(212) 246-2555	244 W. 54th St.
CAP21 Studios	(212) 807-0202	18 W. 18th St.
For additional rehearsal-studio options, try NYC Theatre Spaces.

Once you've booked your space, contact me with the confirmed date, time, and location. If you haven't already at this point, email me a copy of your monologue(s) so I can study up and so we can maximize time in your session.

Typically, you work on 1 or 2 monologues per session. I recommend you come to your session with your material memorized so that we may focus more on your performance and less on the script. (As your monologue coach, I focus on developing the material you want to develop rather than on making monologue recommendations.)

At your session, expect a positive, receptive, enthusiastic coach who will work you hard and budget your time. I will balance work and discussion and leave you satisfied with your experience and your accomplishments.

My monologue coaching sessions are guaranteed. If you are not satisfied with your session, or if I feel I cannot help you, your coaching fee is waived. (However, you will still need to pay for your rehearsal studio.)

So let's get started!

Contact me for a monologue coaching session »

RATES

Here are my current monologue coaching rates:

General monologue coaching rate for Ben Hauck	$50/hour
1 hour of private monologue coaching with Ben Hauck	$50 + studio hire
1.5 hours of private monologue coaching with Ben Hauck	$70 + studio hire

Please note that for your private coaching session, you book and pay for the studio space. Your studio hire is not included in the above rates.

CONTACT

To contact me for a private monologue coaching session, give me a call at (212) 252-4706 or fill in the form below and click SEND.

★Ben Hauck

MORE ABOUT BEN HAUCK

So you know I act, I write, and I teach. You also know some of my recent news and upcoming events. What else don't you know about me? Click the tabs above to learn more!

And be sure to drop me a line to say you stopped by.

... It's much appreciated!

Below is a biography of my life up until about 2003. I have to say it's kinda interesting and it gets a nice amount of reads.

I, however, need to update it with information that has happened since 2003. When this note is changed, you'll know the biography's been updated!

PREFACE

In some sense, my life didn't begin until August 3, 1999, the day I moved to New York City. I had lived in NYC for ten weeks in 1997 for an internship at a casting office set up through my college, and I remember falling in love with NYC the first day I set foot in it, eating dinner outside at Benny's Burritos in the East Village with my friend, watching the flow of so many unusual and exciting people in such a striking and creative landscape.

It's not surprising that the whir of NYC was so different to me. A product of suburbia, at that point in my life I had lived in non-urban areas of Ohio, Georgia, Texas, Ohio again, New York, Ohio again for college, North Carolina, Ohio again to save up money, all before taking up permanent residence in hyper-urban NYC. My mom, my dad, my brother, the occasional dog and I moved around so much as a family because of my dad's job, which I never seemed to grasp much all those years, I could only say "my dad was in insurance," then as I became more versed in what he did, I would tack on the phrase, "in claims, like car accidents and stuff."

THE EARLY YEARS

Born outside Cleveland in 1975, I don't remember much of the place. Apparently I liked to streak a lot as a child, and my scant memories of our apartment include playing with Fiddlesticks and Lincoln Logs, sucking on mommy's boobie, getting scared by a bee as I lay in the trunk of our car, and climbing on the tree in the front yard. Apparently I was a jealous kid when my brother was born about a year and a half after me; I understand I struck him at least once while he slept! I believe in storage somewhere I still have the stuffed animal I called Dobey--a large panda bear with one ear torn and dangling.

We moved to Atlanta when I was about 5 years into a newly-built home on something called a "cul de sac." The area was a great place for a kid to be, as homes were still being built when we moved in, grass was still growing, plus there were woods behind our house and little creeks flowing through the area! We had a huge yard with a long driveway and a carport. The neighbor kids were Big Scott and Little Scott; Little Scott was the good kid, the "original Scott" before Big Scott moved in and forced the need for distinction. My dad painted Big Scott's big brother's Trans Am white with big red flames on the side. It was really cool.

I started school and went to Rockbridge Elementary, then was rezoned into Lilburn Elementary. I was an excellent student, only outdone but little Ivy Ku. Some of my memories from that time were forfeiting a prize for best drawing because my mom had helped me color it because I was up so late drawing, getting out of my chair spontaneously in second grade to announce "I'm the Incredible Hauck!" only to immediately sit back down and continue with my schoolwork, wanting to go by the name "Tiger" instead of "Ben," and skinning my knee on the pavement around the playground. (I still have a slug-sized scar on my knee to this day from that. Belovéd.)

We moved from Atlanta to Houston on the last day of 1984, when I was in the middle of third grade. The day we moved to Houston, we were under a scary red box knowng as a Tornado Watch. I was frightened by thunderstorms and tornadoes and hurricanes as a child, perhaps because I watched The Weather Channel often in the morning before school. (Back in first grade, the teacher for some reason asked what the southernmost city in the U.S. was, and I replied "Key West." Amazing, eh?? ... Not counting Hawaii, obviously.)

My experiences in Houston were amongst my happiest ones of any of the places I lived growing up. Apart from the sheer terror I experienced when dark blue clouds came upon the horizon, I excelled at school again and developed friendships with the brighter kids in my classes. Hancock Elementary was weird for its "open-concept" classrooms; there were no walls, and you had different teachers to teach each subject--you had to rotate to different class areas every 55 minutes or so. That setup wreaked havoc on my reading skills. Despite being a good student and getting A's in reading, my dark secret was I often had little idea what I was reading because I had to go over things again and again, and when the teacher was timing us in reading, I felt humiliated in not comprehnding a lick. My poor reading skills may have had something to do with the dislike I had of reading when I was a child (according to my mom). Whatever the case, I was a superior student who got straight A's throughout elementary school, even touting myself, peculiarly, as a goody-goody. During elementary school I said I wanted to grow up to be President of the United States, and with that kind of goal-setting, I landed the title of Student Council President in fifth grade--the first-ever elections. My platform was "I'll try to get us a Coke machine."

Bleyl Junior High was next, and because of the way the school system was set up, about half of my class went to this junior high and the other half went somewhere else. This was a sad parting, but I made new friends as a result of the divide. Again, I was a straight-A student, and there was an abundance of competitive, intelligent kids there, too. I tend to characterize the school district where I was as "middle to upper-middle class," but only so to describe how great the school system was and how it seemed to naturally assume all students would continue onto college.

In sixth grade, I made a critical decision that has impacted my life to this day. In sixth grade, I decided to take "speech/art/music" rather than band. I had an inkling to play the saxophone, but the desire to make up commercials and do them in front of my classmates was too powerful. A creative satirist from elementary school, I created things making fun of shows' names in the TV guide, I mocked a baseball pitcher in creating a fake catalog for "Jerry Don Gleaton's Royal Savings Store," among other parodic works. The thrill of creating a skit that made other kids laugh far exceeded any thrill blowing into a saxophone might bring.

My speech class led to my taking drama class in seventh and eighth grade, and I started attending speech and drama tournaments on the weekends. I experienced sheer pleasure and excitement going to these events. While I didn't ususually do very well at them, my smart friends did do well, but they were in the speech events like debate and impromptu speaking and I was in humorous interp and duet. Plus, they were an excuse to spend time with a girl I had a crush on from the first moment I laid eyes on her. (To this day, I don't think I ever told her that.) By eight grade, I landed the lead in the school play, a musical that was completely lipsynched and so underrehearsed, I skipped a scene that introduced an important character, only adding the scene on after the curtain call. I had a strange phase when I wanted to die only a part of my hair blond--which I did, and oddly fit the character, only it turned orange rather than blond.

We lived in a house in Prestonwood Forest, a subdivision renowned for its Christmastime "Night of Lights" decorations, which had each of the streets in the neighborhood putting up displays on a different holiday themes. I always loved our street, whose theme I believe was "Toyland"--my dad and mom have always been crafty and creative, and we had big wooden cutouts of Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, and a great lights arrangement to complement as our yard's display. Our house was a nice-sized one undergoing two paint jobs in our time there (from brown to a controversial pink then to a more conservative gray), and my parents added onto the house by building a windowed-in patio and a Martha-Stewart-would-be-impressed deck, building up into an entrance to my dad's dear spa.

Houston was a time of great grades, a lot of weekend chores, and feeling good about myself. I qualified for State competition in high school in oral interp my freshman year, earning a coveted letterjacket. Three-quarters into my freshman year of high school, though, we moved yet again to Mansfield, Ohio. The good feelings I was building fell hard after this move.

ADVERSITY & TRIUMPH

Mansfield was the stark opposite of Houston in my mind. While Houston's schools had so much to offer its students and so much wealth, Mansfield's schools were nearly declared "state-minimum," meaning they would have all extracurricular activities pulled with such a declaration by the state. I remember taking a speech class there (it was the closest thing to drama I could take) and the teacher asked of the class of twelve or so, "How many of you are going to college?," of which about half raised their hands. My life experience was that attending college was assumed. Not only was that a disturbing revelation, but when the teacher didn't even know what a "speech and drama tournament" was, I felt as if my life and sustenance had come to a screeching halt.

Oddly, we seemed to jump a social stratum when we moved to Mansfield. While we were by my standards very middle-class, I think people were a little envious of us when we moved into this gargantuan home. The house was unusual for the area--no other homes were like it, and it was about the size of two of these homes. I didn't appreciate the size or beauty of the house then namely because it didn't have air conditioning, and while Ohio was cooler than Texas, I didn't notice the difference because everywhere you went in Houston there was A/C. I was a special case from the moment I arrived in Mansfield. Mansfield Senior High had only sophomores through seniors in it, and the freshmen were in a different building. I'd attend a couple morning classes at the freshman building, then I'd bus over to the high school to take my other classes. I was a freshman in sophomore classes, as my Houston school system was a year ahead of Mansfield's--another frustrating blow to my world.

Eventually, though, while I wasn't making friends at school, I was making them doing community theater. Somehow I signed up for something called Nova at the Richland Academy for the Arts, a group of kids of all ages who were going to write and produce their own play. We put on a play called Looking through Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and I played the Mad Hatter. I rooted myself in a growing movement of child actors in the Mansfield theater scene.

I did a nice amount of shows and volunteering with the Richland Academy of the Arts. At the time, I was also playing baseball, landing a spot on the varsity baseball team as a freshman, only having moved into the town a few months prior. By junior year, I was starting shortstop on the varsity team, but something psychologically seemed to be getting in the way of my play. While I was excellent at running the field and the team's standout hustler, I'd make errors on routine ground balls, sometimes losing the game for us. The pressure mounted on me, and I'd come home crying about baseball. The charms of working on a play with my theater friends who accepted me were ultimately more attractive than the pain of making errors in baseball with players who found me studious and odd. I made the difficult decision of quitting baseball mid-season when the opportunity to assistant-direct a show at Richland Academy arose.

The feeling was one of amazing relief. From that point, I felt more focused and excited about my life. While still a straight-A student, I was busy going to school, often rehearsing by night. I even was going to Ohio State Univeristy at Mansfield concurrently with my junior and senior years of high school! I branched out from the Richland Academy, landing a show at the locally respected Mansfield Playhouse and then scoring the lead in OSU-M's production of Enter Laughing, all as a highschooler! Added to the experience was a girlfriend I met through theater who was also a high-achiever, and my life was really, really great.

I ended up graduating valedictorian from Mansfield Senior High in 1994. In a rebellious display, I scoffed at giving a valediction speech, refusing to give one, and was angry at the symbolic celebration of the end of education. Plus, I had to wear the stupid graduation gown, something I had been nearly mortally terrified by as a child for some weird reason. I had few friends in my graduation class as I was a year ahead of them, a year of college credits under my belt, and I socialized more with theaterfolk than my classmates. It was all for naught, though, as but a week after graduating from high school, my family moved to Albany, New York, with my dad's job.

Albany was only a summer for me before Otterbein College, and some school breaks. The quick and sudden exit from Mansfield was somewhat awesome to me, creating a story of Taking Mansfield's school system by storm at the beginning of high school, Claiming its top prize by the end, then Leaving like a bandit. That summer, I made a videotape of skits as I pined away for my girlfriend, still in Ohio and getting ready to attend Dartmouth. I also took my first job, working as a receptionist at my dad's office. That was an exciting time, taking on the challenges of an archaic 10-line phone system with no voicemail!

THE COLLEGE YEARS

I had decided on Otterbein College in Westerville, Ohio, for an asinine reason, but it turned out to be an excellent decision for the kind of acting program it provided. I'd had a recommendation from the director of Enter Laughing who had also attended Otterbein, and I knew Otterbein to be the best theater school in the state of Ohio. The reason I chose Otterbein over any other school in any other state was because I, yes,"didn't want to have to learn the rules of another state." This is such laughably stupid reasoning on my part in hindsight, because a) I'd moved so much in my life and "had to learn the rules of other states," and b) I'd moved from Ohio a week after I graduated high school. Nonetheless, while the academics were subpar by my standards, Otterbein's theater program really catered to my acting talents in a way I've understood only grad schools do.

Early on at Otterbein, I even tried to transfer out of it. I'd never heard of an Ivy League school, but my girlfriend was attending one and the things she was learning made what I was learning pale in comparison. She was in the film society, she was learning about philosophers from teachers who wrote their lectures like papers in great buildings of fine architecture; I was going to classes rehashing how to write an essay and even learning later on there were football players who were illiterate going there. The college population was mostly small-town Ohioans, when I wanted the experience of diversity. The chance at a better, although unaffordable education was one I had to take. In the end, I was waitlisted at Dartmouth then declined, my girlfriend and I broke up, and I had to make do at my college of choice.

The academics never really did challenge me, as again I maintained straight A's throughout college. I did get one B, in Ed Vaughan's acting class, which was shocking to me because that term, I think I did my best work as an actor in all of college. By about junior year, when I learned that some acting grad students were learning things we were learning at Otterbein, I started to feel much more blessed about being at my college. I learned that some programs seemed to espouse an "outside-in" approach to acting, an approach to acting I expressly despised. My acting teachers at Otterbein seemed to uphold an "inside-out" approach, meaning they uphold work on the character's inner life and emotions before layering on the physicality and timing issues and such theatrical mechanics.

By my junior year, I was cast in the personally coveted "new play," the last show in Otterbein's season which is a commission from a well-known playwright. The show was Joan Ackermann's Marcus Is Walking: Scenes from the Road, an ensemble play that is like A.R. Gurney's The Dining Room except all of the scenes are around a car. My passion in acting is to actually create a new role in a new production, and this show was a dream come true since each of us got to create about five different roles. The icing on the cake from this experience was that I landed a New York City talent agent's interest in a rather roundabout manner from the production, plus I ended up having my name printed in the published version of the play!

In my senior year, I spent the fall in New York City at the casting office called Ortlip & Filderman. The two casting directors cast play, musicals, and independent films for the most part. The internship was a remarkable learning experience, as I got to learn about the business side of the theater business--all I had known was that I wanted to act, and from the internship I learned what it takes to have and maintain a professional acting career.

I returned to Otterbein from my internship with an amazing amount of creative energy and ambition. I produced, directed, and acted in an evening of my plays, The Bomb Holding Co. and After Class, produced and acted with a girlfriend in a staged reading of my favorite play, David Mamet's Oleanna, directed a workshop production of David Mamet's challenging piece All Men Are Whores, all the while trying to learn piano and keeping my grades just as strong. When I finally graduated Otterbein (shafting the whole graduation ceremony altogether by going to my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary), I earned a BFA in Acting, summa cum laude, straight A's except for an errant B, and a whole lotta excitement about my future as an actor.

RESTARTING MY LIFE TO START MY ACTING CAREER

I decided to stay near my college after I graduated in order to save money for the relocation to NYC to "start" my life. With some remarkable fortune, I landed a well-paying job at a great company called Ohio Distinctive Software, which primarily sold software for children at amazingly inexpensive prices. Staying in the Westerville area also allowed me to be near the theater life of Otterbein and near my college girlfriend, whom I directed in her one-woman show there. A year after graduating, I decided I finally had enough money to move, and with a good friend of my girlfriend's, I rented a Ryder truck and drove to NYC.

The trip was frightening. I literally thought I would die in a car accident. I had rented a Ryder truck three months in advance to get the best deal, but when it came to picking up the truck, they didn't have the 15-foot one I had rented and in which I had confidence in driving from past experience. They didn't even have a 19-foot truck. They had a 25-foot truck, which is only a little shorter than a tractor trailer! I was to drive it overnight, 10 hours, unassisted, with my future roommate and his possessions in tow.

We did do it, arriving in Astoria on August 3, 1999, but the night was spent with my foot nearly standing on the pedal to make the truck go 55mph up hills, and stopping every half-hour to go to the bathroom. The caffeine pills and soft drinks I used helped keep me awake, but the constant, continous bouncing and shaking of the truck would make us have to pee only ten minutes after leaving a rest stop. Whatever the case, we survived and moved in.

Soon after moving to NYC, I got my headshots taken with Jinsey Dauk and was out auditioning. I also landed a sweet temp job I hold to this day (I decided to go perm after 4+ years there), where my boss allows me the freedom to pursue my acting endeavors as a priority. It wasn't long after auditioning that I was getting callbacks, but for shows I didn't want to do. I even landed a children's theater tour in Wisconsin, but I turned them down because I decided I didn't train at college to do children's theater tours in my acting career. Rather, I was in NYC in search of acting in new plays.

TAKING OFF

About four months after arriving, I landed the lead in the New York premiere of Rick Vorndran's Control Freaks in Love, and then other things really started to happen to me. While subbing for a casting assistant at Lynn Kressel Casting, I landed a principal role on Law & Order, qualifying me for the Screen Actors Guild. A friend of mine and I then produced a private workshop presentation of a famous two-person play, and when I wrapped that project, I found myself a member of the Actors' Equity Association. Not by producing my own play, though--I joined the union through a business theater contract via a strange promotion I landed with Yahoo!. Yahoo! was building the home for "The World's La-Z-iest Shopper" in Rockefeller Center and I landed the job to play that guy, affectionately known was "Willis."

Things had come together very fast for me, that spring of 2000. Being eligible for SAG and AEA in the same month, plus getting all this national attention in landing a TV role and doing a well-publicized promotion, was exciting beyond compare. After the World's La-Z-iest Shopper promotion ended, my life started to slow down in the first summer as an actor in NYC. I booked a show in the NY Fringe Festival that summer, and new realities in being a union actor started to hit as so many performing opportunities were taken away from me since I could no longer work jobs that were for only non-union actors.

But I was incredibly fortunate. To join the unions, an actor can work for years and years with potentially no reward or guarantee of the getting into the union. After all, acting was what I wanted to do, and joining the unions afforded me the opportunity to compete with the best actors for respectable, paid acting work. Since joining the unions in 2000, I've been building my experience and reputation often doing open-call auditions at the union known as EPA's, and doing the background work on a films and commercial sets--the equivalent of temp work for an NYC actor. Joining the union has also increased the stakes and my need for solid representation, for agents are the people who receive most of the breakdowns for projects being cast, and they are the people casting directors turn to for their supply of castable actors. I have freelanced with several agents in NYC, and I'm eager to find that agent relationship that is mutually rewarding.

MY NEW LIFE

As an actor in NYC, I pride myself on my marketing savvy. I am a frequent postcarder and I craft mailings in hopes of being more eye-catching and bold than the next actor. I owe it to myself, because I feel my talents are expansive as an actor and are a rewarding addition to any theater company, play, or film. My aims are primarily new Off-Broadway works, so the stakes are especially high when I have an appointment for a new play as they are what I live to do.

On a simultaneous track, in June of 2000, just after finishing as the World's La-Z-iest Shopper, a friend of mine took me to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre to see some long-form improvisation. That one evening of improv changed my life. It led to my taking classes in long-form improv, performing it, even coaching it with some friends from Otterbein, as well as now writing a book on it! Finding the improv world in NYC has provided an exciting scene for me with abundant creativity and socializing where the acting and theater scene seems to lack in that department.

On another simultaneous track, a year after finding improv, I also found marathon running. I trained for my first-ever NYC marathon in 2001. My dad had run a couple in his life, but never under four hours, and I completed both the 2001 and 2003 NYC Marathons in under 4 hours. Those accomplishments are very dear to me because of the amount of time investment they require to do well, with potentially no reward but pain and damage to your body. I was to run it in 2002, but during a softball game with the Broadway Show League, I tore cartilage in my right knee, making for a summer of getting to auditions via cane and Razor scooter eventually leading to surgery to remove the cartilage and a bone chip, and no marathon. The 2003 Marathon was all the more important to me, to prove to myself that I could still run long-distance, and even outdo my previous record. My 2003 Marathon was a little faster than my 2001 one; my knee injury didn't take me down. Chances are, if you've come to this part of the bio, you're a most patient reader. I am patient as well when it comes to my life. I have abundant energy and creativity so waiting for the payoff can be aggravating sometimes, but I'm in this acting career for the long haul. I haven't cured cancer, nor do I hope to in my life, but I do hope to make a significant impact on the lives of many people in my lifetime with my performance abilities. I'm looking to garner more success, to continue my childhood successes far into the future. I know there are more successes to come, it's just a matter of time.

Rotating below are some of my interests outside the more obvious ones featured prominently on the website.

Each tab opens up into a different world. Click on a tab, and have fun exploring my many interests!

RUNNING

To jump immediately to my marathon training blog, click here.

As of July 2008, I've run 3 NYC marathons, with my 4th NYC marathon continuing to elude me. In training for it in 2007, I ended up with a stress fracture, more than likely caused by voodoo. I suppose overtraining is a more believable cause. However, it was all for naught as I didn't get into the NYC marathon, being someone of poor fortune in not getting in via the lottery. This year, I did the same: Training (though a little less vigorously because of a temporary move to London), lottery entry, and poor fortune. Given that I don't want luck to be my authority, I've opened my mind up to running the needed number of New York Road Runners races and to training for other marathons, though I'm not sure how I want to go about this yet. Hopefully I'll pick a marathon and just go for it!

Essentially, the long-term goal for me is to run the Boston Marathon. Not so much out of passion for Boston, more for a sense of accomplishment. For my age group, I have to run a qualifying race (like the NYC marathon) in 3 hours, 10 minutes or less. My 2005 NYC marathon net time was 3:28:03, a 20+-minute shaving-off of time from my previous marathon. I was thinking it would be tough for me to shave off another 20 minutes; however, in spending some time in London and joining a running club, I'm learning some techniques that may do my body good.

Anyway, so I run. I like to run a 10K at a time (that's 6.2 miles), though I'm particularly fond of doing more miles when I can and feel like it. My most favorite place to run is Central Park. My most favorite run was there just before a huge severe thunderstorm--and during. I got rain absolutely dumped on me with lightning bolts making me jump in the air as I strided. Eventually I was running in ankle-deep water in the torrents. Another favorite run of mine was this past winter during snow. I have some YakTrax that I got to test out finally. And let me tell you: I didn't slip once!

I am not really much of a racer, electing instead to run on my own time, but I did do one of my first non-marathon races in my adulthood in July 2008 in Regent's Park, London. I mean, I've done the Emerald Nuts New Year's Runs in Central Park, but for some reason they don't count as much as this Regent's Park race. The Regent's Park race was a 10K, and I ran it in a little over 43 minutes, which was quite surprising as I have not been in perfect shape and ran a 10K about 6 minutes slower the prior day. (To make things more understandable, the prior day was run with some tough hills, and the race was run on largely flat pavement.)

The only thing I really have to share for now is my inactive marathon blog. I start it up when I'm officially training for a marathon. No marathons currently I'm training for as of July 2008. I'll see if I can't update this panel when I figure something out.

Read my marathon training blog »

MUSIC MAKING

To immediately listen to my songs, click here. Else, read up on my background in music below.

I am not musically inclined, but that has never stopped me from making music. I was originally inspired by a college band called Buttered Popcorn Disaster, whose music was made with a one-string guitar and pots and pans. I never saw them live; my dorm's RA made me a copy of their tape (they were friends of his, and I'm pretty sure I knew one of the people in the band). Most people probably would have thrown out the tape--it was just tape recordings of songs presumably made in the kitchen. Instead, I embraced it.

My first song, which is not featured here, was called "Tourette's." It consisted of an alarm clock's alarm going off, and my saying "Toureeeeeette's / Toureeeeeette's / [etc.]" and some other lyrics I don't remember offhand. The best song that came from that recording session was called "Come On, Grandpa," whose lyrics were, "[Boy:] 'Come on, Grandpa / Tell me a story / Tell me a story / before you die' / [Grandpa:] 'No sonny no sonny no sonny no / I'm not that desperate / [etc.]'" At the Grammys that year, I was robbed.

And though I was robbed, I listened to that tape I made lots and was very proud of it. I learned that even if a song was bad, if you played it a number of times, it starts to become kinda good. Familiarity makes the heart grow fonder. That seemed to describe how songs I hated on the radio, played months later or in a new context, I actually found myself liking. Much to my disgruntlement, I realized I had to acknowledge some favor of the disfavored.

Eventually I spent some more time with my Casio SK-1 sampling synthesizer which I had gotten probably a decade prior. (It was cool to me then because I could record my voice and them modify my voice and even loop my voice! I never learned to play the piano aspect of it other than something like "Stand By Me.") And eventually I got better at my music making. I got more sophisticated: I bought toy musical instruments. I started sampling from tapes on my stereo. I had more fun crafting songs. My songwriting was admittedly weird, usually odd, funny in perhaps a disturbing way, and occasionally a social commentary (as in "This Party Ain't Got No Alcohol," which is featured here).

Then, I reached the age of computers and got ahold of software that allowed me to stitch together loops and layer different tracks over each other. I could do on my computer much more easily what I had been doing in a lo-tech way before. My drive to create music was generated by an annoying website I was addicted to. The members there seemed to care a lot about posting milestones I would hit (I was the most prolific poster on that message board), and to "celebrate" the milstone of 4,000 posts, I had the idea of giving attention to their interest by surprising them with a song. That song, "4,000," was a rap about things relevant at the time on that message board, with some bad beatboxing that in the song I eventually deviate from. It was a pretty cool song, though, with some nice rhymes. From that post, a tradition began, and I created songs for 5K, 6K, 7K, 7K+1, 8K, 9K, and 10K. I created a few other songs in that period, too. As each milestone approached, I kept challenging myself to create something better than before. I changed things up, upped the ante, even stirred a little controversy and pushed some buttons. Although the notion of "posting songs" was silly, the art was actually very serious for me, and a number of those songs I still carry around on my mp3 player today, sort of as theme songs or mantras.

My more recent music-making movements have involved beatbox, "mouth improvisation," and improvised musicals. I've never done an improvised musical, but I've taught two strains of classes on musical improv. In preparing for that class, though more specifically in researching how to develop my "mouth improvisation" idea, I took private beatboxing lessons. I learned a few basic tricks--to this day, I don't know much and am easily blown away--but more importantly, I learned some basics on more hi-tech things. Like looping pedals: I purchased a looping pedal, then another, all in the hopes of creating improvised music just with odd sounds. I've gotten together with friends to play around with my looping pedals, and let me tell you, they are a party waiting to happen. These things are so fun to play with. You simply turn them on, lay down some sound like a beat, it starts looping, and you add some more sound. The result can be just astounding. It can also be annoying, but every once and awhile, you lock into a creation that is transcendental in its composition.

I should probably stop putting the term "mouth improvisation" in scare quotes. It stands for the idea of creating music with the mouth much like the way you'd create it with a looping pedal, only doing it live, with improvisers, specifically ones who are not gifted in music. The experience was unadulterated, abstract fun when I tried it with Devil's Dancebelt originally, yet music is violently scary for some people, and they did not want to go in that direction artistically. I incorporated some mouth improvisation in my musical improv classes. While it didn't really show up very much other than as a little beatbox in performance, there is the potential for transcendent improvisational experiences with mouth improvisation.

Below is a link to my musical world. I've included songs that I've created over the years, some dating back to college days, others much more recent. I unabashedly don't sing and I rejoice in this fact. Again, if you play it over and over, it sorta becomes its own kind of singing, which is an awesome way to rival more refined singing, which may ultimately be the lesser singing in its sheer uncatchiness.

Give a listen to my fun songs »

WEB DESIGN

Scroll down to get right to seeing the websites I've designed.

Ultimately, I'm an amateur web designer. I remember being in the college library when the internet was still in its infancy and I had a Freenet email address. I somehow found myself studying HTML tags, learning how to make text bold and italicized and underlined. My first site I believe was a Tripod site. Eventually I had a Homestead account, which evolved into my first actor website. It grew sophisticated by using snippets of free code I found on the internet. My first domain name was gotten for free from Namezero.com, which was giving away domain names if you allowed a banner frame on your site. Eventually I moved to pay for my site and for my domain name. I've gotten better at my web design skills, slowly challenging myself with each design, using simple PHP inclusions to make changes rapidly and globally in my designs. Web design is a hobby and sometimes an obsession. I don't allow myself to get too perfectionistic in my life, except in the realm of web design. Still, I don't get all that picky, mostly caring about how the total design looks.

There have been about five major redesigns of http://www.benhauck.com, which I have exclusively designed from the beginning. In the beginning, the design had central scrolling headshots with menus running vertically along the sides of the headshots. Then, I got a little more sophisticated, creating a site that incorporated mouseover changes when you ran your cursor over menu items (you can get a sense by looking at this version of it or this version of it from the Internet Archive). A box design came after that, a design I was first attracted to then eventually somewhat constrained by up until the current website. The first version of the box design is here, which got a lot of compliments but I learned had major cross-browser issues. I had that site for too long of a time before revamping it into a poor redesign that was similar, then almost immediately re-revamping it into a more stylish, minimalist, and photographically de-emphasized version. My current site is an advancement for me in that it takes a more boring approach to layout, yet has some interesting features like "accordion"-style content that allows me to conceal content so as not to clutter the screen, while also making website interactivity fun. I've also finally found a way to include quotations I like, something I've wanted to do for a while but couldn't accomplish stylistically with box designs.

People have asked me from time to time to design websites for them, or how much it would cost for me to do one. I have tended to turn people down, mostly because I didn't want to find myself in the tricky waters of being obligated as a webmaster when I didn't have the time or knowledge, but also because I didn't know how to charge, finding little site updates not worth billing a lot for. That being said, eventually--partly because I wanted to test out some new web-design ideas and partly because I was humanitarianly interested--I started to offer to design people's sites for them. I concentrated on the sites of friends I had who didn't have a web presence but wanted one and definitely needed one. If the project intrigued me and the friend's site wasn't over my head, I'd offer to do it for free. I also attacked projects that would help raise the profile of the group by having a better website. Among the things that bother me is a great group or organization with a poor website. It doesn't take a lot of money or ability to have a stylish, effective site.

Below are some of the designs I've created so far.

Damon Alfonso
(http://www.damonhair.com)
The Website of Damon Alfonso, Hairstylist
Damon has been my hairstylist for nearly a decade and has become a great friend of mine. He recently opened his own salon on Broadway and Bleecker called Damon Hair Studio, a major endeavor I'm highly supportive of. The original website for his salon was fairly basic. I felt that I could help Damon out by providing a web design for him. As inspiration, I used his simple yet bold gray business card. Damon wanted minimalism, which is a style that I enjoy designing in. I created the basic design and he liked it from the start. I crafted a site the featured his first name prominently. Over the course of a month, I did tweaks here and there, but the design didn't change much. It seemed I gave Damon just what he was looking for.
This website ultimately became more focused on his work as a hairstylist than on his salon since another web designer started to build a website expressly for his salon. For his hairstyling site, I ventured into new design territory. I found a way to make an interesting vertical menu that slides just how I wanted it to. I played with writing in columns, mimicking what I've found on magazines and even Damon's original website. It was fantastic to hear Damon laughing giddily as he saw his new website take shape before his eyes.

Paula Lopez
(http://www.paulayoga.com)
The Website of Paula Lopez,
Core Strengthening and Yoga Teacher
Paula is a great friend of mine, and hearing that she wanted a website and knowing it wouldn't require much information, I volunteered to create one for her. For this website, I got together with Paula and asked her a lot of questions of what she wanted on her site and how it would look and feel. The result was a very simple design with a color scheme that was exactly to her liking. As I looked over all of the points I had to hit in the design to give Paula what she wanted, I was surprised to find that I'd hit every single point! That made me feel proud. Also, with this design, I created it so I could hand it over to Paula (much as I designed Howing Vic's site) so she could maintain it on her own with just a little HTML knowledge. She couldn't have been happier, and has emailed me numerous times simply to say, "I love my website!!!"

The New York Society for General Semantics
(http://www.nysgs.org)
The Website of
The New York Society for General Semantics
I am on the Board of Directors for the society, and the website at the time I joined was suffering. As a organization interested in general semantics, which has some interest in time and dates and keeping language relevant, its website was dated, with broken links and confusing organization. The former webmaster had gotten too busy to maintain the site, and I took it upon myself to come up with a new design. I can't remember the exact circumstances--if I was asked to come up with some website ideas or if I just decided to do it on my own--but whatever the case, I took it upon myself to redesign the NYSGS website, and I surprised them with the website draft (which didn't change much after that point). I think I created it pretty rapidly. I am really pleased with a number of things about the site. For one, I think it really brings the organization to the present. In my opinion, the site is stylish and pleasant to view. It gives a logo and a motto for the society. It provides my first stab at random quotations. It has a clear menu organized well. And one of my favorite inclusions is the fading background images: They add texture, beauty, and "jazz" to the site. As a result, I gladly stayed on as their new webmaster, and I update the site when I can, though sometimes a past meeting may linger on the site after it's happened. I should say that the redesign was somewhat motivated and inspired by the Rassai mock-ups for the new website for the Institute of General Semantics; I was particularly inspired to get rotated quotations onto the NYSGS site. The cool style of the IGS site influenced the cool style of the NYSGS site, and also challenged me to try to make it even better than the IGS site--which I knew I couldn't do, but at least I could approach the goal!

Elizabeth Cherry Online
(http://www.elizabethcherry.com)
The Website of Elizabeth Cherry,
Actress, Singer, and Spinner
Liz is a longtime friend. She'd had a website designed by a past boyfriend, and as the years went on, the form of the site was deteriorating. I felt I could really help Liz out with her site. I knew her birthday was coming up, so what I did was draft a new website for her as my birthday gift to her. (Really cool, huh??) I knew it was a little risky of a move, so I prefaced the gift by saying she didn't have to accept it. But fortunately she did! After my original version, Liz gave me some feedback to get it just right for her. The site is basically the NYSGS site design only with a different color scheme. Once added bonus to the site is the use of a background image with quotation marks in it as the space on which is cast reviews from her shows. The reviews are displayed randomly, and this feature overall I believe adds more excitement about Liz. I think she's got the best voice in NYC. In recent years, she's picked up the hobby of spinning, and more recently I created a separate spinning page for her. The design was inspired by some website she liked that she sent me; I emulated them as best I could. Liz was pleased with my very rough draft for the site, so what you see now is basically what she first saw!

Victoria Libertore, aka "Howling Vic"
(http://www.howlingvic.com)
The Website of Victoria "Howling Vic" Libertore,
Performance Artist, Teacher,
and Host in the Burlesque and Performance-Art Worlds
I went to college with Vic and was also on our improv group Devil's Dancebelt from the beginning. She was really making a name for herself hosting and performing in burlesque shows, though she didn't have a website. I had been working on the site for the New York Society for General Semantics at the time I offered to do a site for her. I was wanting to test my web-design abilities, and I was inspired by the possibility of getting Vic a great web presence. For this site, I took photos and eventually used part of a photo I have in my apartment of Vic and myself as a background for her site. That was new territory for me, using photos as backgrounds. I also incorporated interesting snippets of her photos as thumbnails in her photo gallery, another stylish web-design idea I'd seen done before. Vic even allowed me to have a little fun with the design, so you'll notice a little Ganesha that she wanted incorporated on the site. You'll see it pop up briefly, but what you might not know is that if you click on it, you are taken to a secret page! I've always wanted to have little secret pages on sites, which I might eventually do for my website. This is the only one I've ever done to date. Overall, Vic was pleased, and now she has taken over webmastering for the site after I trained her. This was the first website I designed knowing full well that eventually I would hand it over. As a result of this knowledge, I constructed the site to make it as simple as possible for editing, so she wouldn't come across code she could accidentally "break."

Devil's Dancebelt
(http://www.devilsdancebelt.com)
(link forwards to the Internet Archive)
The Website for
My Beloved Former Long-Form Improv Group
This site I was very proud of. It was inspired by a change in the Dictionary.com design, which featured words in large font quite like what you find on each page of this DD design. The design was also inspired by a photo shoot with Meghan Hickey and coordinted highly effectively by Ryan Migge. The photos added several different attitudes for DD and it also gave a great color scheme. OH! And it was also inspired by an ad that Rebecca Lupardo had brought in; it showed a multi-panel display of image slices, a design I used to inspire the Performer Bio introduction. Really cool.

WHAT I READ

Admittedly, I don't often read blogs, though I tend to keep occasional tabs on the blogs below.

Tractor Control
http://tractorcontrol.blogspot.com

This blog on improv theory created by my friend Paul Foxcroft in London offers insight into improv ideology. Paul has invited me to be a contributor. Look out for postings from me there.

Korzybski Files
http://korzybskifiles.blogspot.com

This is Bruce I. Kodish's blog about Alfred Korzybski. Currently, Bruce is hard at work on a Korzybski biography, a welcome and long overdue addition to English literature!

Improv Interviews
http://www.improvinterviews.com

While this blog appears to be no longer maintained, it undoubtedly has some good reading in the form of interviews from important figures in the improv world.

LINKS OF NOTE

Below are some links to sites that I have some fondness for for whatever reason.

The New York Society for General Semantics
http://www.nysgs.org

I'm on the Board of Directors for NYSGS, and I'm their webmaster as well. I've been interested in general semantics since college, where no one had seemed to have heard of it. I simply stumbled upon it while wandering around the library, read a little bit, and was instantly hooked by the multidisciplinary ideas and amazing insights general semantics has into language, thinking, and behaving.

The Institute of General Semantics
http://www.generalsemantics.org

I've been a member of IGS for some time if you count the time before they merged with the International Society for General Semantics. IGS is now the main general semantics organization, and the website currently features a ton of information on general semantics, including some essays of mine they've published. In relaunching their new website (2008), they've asked me to serve as their webmaster. On the site, I serve as both webmaster and a moderator of the "General Semantics Discussion Forums."

The General Semantics Discussion Forums
http://www.generalsemantics.org/forums

Here, I'm a moderator and frequent contributor. The discussions range from general semantics treatments on particular stories and news events to clarifications on specific points in general semantics, not to mention beginner's questions and teaching ideas. It is of interest to the person who knows general semantics, though it is also great reading for those who like to learn. Many of the contributors are well-versed in general semantics and have great insights and knowledge of the field.

The Best Designs
http://www.thebestdesigns.com

Occasionally I stop by this site to see how other people design commendable sites. I use this site primarily as inspiration, but it is also informative, showing me how different web designers solve client web-design challenges.

We all get asked tirelessly some set of questions.

Here is my attempt to thwart some of the energy expenditure so I have time for a few other fun things.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q. How do you pronounce "Hauck"?

A. Pinch yourself. If you squeeze hard enough, you'll say "Ow!" or "Ouch!"

That same vowel sound is the vowel sound in "Hauck."

It's not uncommon for me to hear it pronounced "Hawk," which sounds pretty cool. But that would be incorrect.

But add to that that the proper pronunciation of my first name, "Benjamin," is with an r sound. "Bengermin."

This is because my mom has always pronounced it this way. She didn't know it until I told her in recent years.

I've adopted her pronunciation as the proper one for my first name.

I am named after Benjamin Franklin. When I was born, there was a lot of talk about Benjamin Franklin. So I guess it sounded pretty good.

Q. You moved around a lot as a kid. Military brat?

A. It's funny that there is this whole routine that happens when a person learns I moved around a lot as a kid.

"Where are you from?"
"All over the Eastern United States."
"Military brat?"
"No, my dad killed someone."

Which is of course a joke. We moved around with his job. He was in insurance at the time.

Q. Are you from North Carolina?

A. No. My immediate family lives in North Carolina, but we are not from there.

Having moved around a lot, I don't really feel as if I'm from anywhere. This was a bit of a dilemma in college when having to write my actor bio for programs. Most of the actors would lead with their hometown. I didn't have a hometown. My family moved right after I graduated from high school, so it was inappropriate to say that that new location was my hometown.

Now, I tend to answer the question "Where are you from?" with "I live in New York City." Technically, I'm not answering the question, in which case I sometimes supplement that answer with "I have Ohio roots" or "I moved here from Ohio."

I was born in Ohio if that helps you try to place me for whatever diabological humanographic interests you have.

Click the heading below to reveal my contact information.

TELEPHONE

Aha! Call me at (212) 252-4706.

To send me an email, fill in the form below and click SEND.

SOCIAL NETWORKING

Currently, I'm not on any social networking sites.

Shocking!

Shoot me an email or give me a call. That's how you can track me down.